Page 44 of Dragon Rivals of New York

After what could be minutes or hours, he kisses the top of my head and steps back. I slide off the desk, but a wave of dizziness has me wobbling on my feet.

“Have you had anything to eat today?” He steadies me with his hands on my arms.

I skipped lunch to call a kid’s parents about a behavioral issue and skipped breakfast because my roommate left a bunch of dishes in the sink from the weekend. She works two jobs, so I cleaned up, but by the time I finished, I was running late.

“I’m fine,” I say.

He pulls back and hunches over to bring our faces in alignment. “What did you eat, Sora?”

“Nothing, okay,” I huff. “But it’s fine. We can go get something now.”

“You need to take care ofyourself.”

He sounds like my therapist. She says the not-so-subtle result of being taught the body is evil is that it encourages us to think it’s righteous to ignore the body's needs, to go without sleep and food and other physical necessities. It becomes a sign of pride when someone skips a meal or water or sleep in order to “serve.” They’re choosing the higher good. The “proverbs woman” wakes before everyone else, goes to bed after everyone else, and gives everything to everyone else. She isn’t selfish.

Plus, there’s the shame attached to the body in both the secular and spiritual cultures I grew up in. This is New York. Women don’t age here. They get Botox and boob jobs. The natural needs, desires, and consequences of having a body are shameful. My therapist tells me I’m making progress and letting go of these things, but it feels slow, and those beliefs run so deep they aren’t always even conscious.

The first time I told a parent I couldn’t talk to them because I was on my lunch break and needed to eat, I cried because I felt like I was being selfish and they would hate me.

I’ve come a long way since then. I’m more stable, more confident in myself and my decisions, but taking care of myself is still difficult, especially when it’s put in opposition to caring for someone else. Like my roommate or one of my students.

“There was too much to do,” I whisper. “I’m really fine.”

Kyro kisses my lips, my jaw, slowly making his way to my ear. “You don’t have to earn your existence, Ara’ha.”

My breath catches in my throat. Because it feels like a lie. I don’t believe it. I can’t believe it.

But I want to.

Chapter 21

Kyro

AftergettingSorasomethingto eat, we head to Midas and Jeslyn’s place.

Sora gives me a quizzical look when we get out of the cab. “I thought we were going to your place?”

I like that she sounds disappointed, but I’m not sure she’ll be so eager once she learns I live in a one bedroom studio. Most of my income has always gone to the horde. Not because Adrianna demanded it, but because I knew there were others who needed it more, especially the few dragons with families. I didn’t expect to ever have a mate to take care of or impress. But now… everything’s different.

“Why are we here?” Sora asks, reminding me of her original question.

“Horde meeting.” I hold open the door for her. “Midas andAdrianna spoke with the priestess about our situation.”

“Oh.” She doesn’t say anything more, but she worries her bottom lip with her teeth and knots her hands in her skirt.

My own tension builds with each floor the elevator ascends. What if they tell us we can’t all enter the pool together and Sora needs to choose one of us? Huh, when did I start wanting to enter the pools with Jethro?

I’ve always trusted the goddess. Even when I lost Nadia, I thought it was a sign the goddess wanted me to devote my life to my horde rather than a family. Now, I believe there’s a reason she paired Jethro and me with Sora. I thought it was cosmic payback, but I’m not so sure about that anymore.

After last night… well, I always understood that Jethro was defending his king. I would have done the same. But it was different to hear it from him personally. To have him apologize. Something in me broke when he acknowledged what he'd done. Doesn’t mean I want to be with him, but I don’t really want him to suffer either. Not now that I know him a little better.

So the thought of the priests telling us she has to choose has my stomach rolling.

“Hey, I forgot to ask, who was that man outside the school?”

“A member of the Ruby Diamond Horde. He said he heardabout our double mating.”

“But why was he outside my school?”

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