Page 62 of Bleed for Me

I tried to ignore the annoying flutter in my stomach, from the way he was looking at me, like he was impressed. I cleared my throat, wanting to get straight to the point. “You hate me and I’m not too fond of you either,” I started, though my body was calling me a liar. It remembered the things he made me feel, the way it felt to have his tongue between my legs, and how he made my back bow off the mattress in pure ecstasy. His finger work wasjust as magical. “Archer has shown an interest in me, and you don’t like that?—”

He narrowed his eyes at me. “If this is some proposition to get me to share him with you…”

I couldn’t help it. I laughed right in his face, all my warring emotions rising to the surface at that single comment. “No. Idiot,” I retorted. “I want you to kill me.”

He stumbled backwards, his expression morphing into something that was comical on the bad boy who’d threatened me not that long ago. He was at a loss for words. “You’re fucking with me,” he accused, like it was unheard of for someone to want to take their own life. Since my options were limited here, and my last suicide attempt had failed, this was the next best thing.

“Don’t act like you haven’t thought about all the twisted ways you could get rid of me. I’m giving you that opportunity. If you don’t want it, then I’m sure Alina and Rachel would be more than willing.” I was bluffing, but he didn’t know that. I was banking on him agreeing to this.

His jaw tightened and he glanced away, staring at the wall to his right as if it had suddenly become the most interesting thing in the world. “When?” he growled.

“During dinner,” I decided. That way everyone would be occupied and if I screamed, no one would hear it.

He swallowed thickly and nodded. “Where?”

“The woods. I can meet you at the tree you fucked Archer at,” I suggested. His head whipped back to me, his eyes narrowing, but I just smiled sweetly in return. Had he thought I’d forgotten?

“Fine, but I’m going to make it hurt.”

My pulse accelerated, but did I really expect anything less? The dude was head over heels for Archer, and for that, he despised me. Now that I knew they had something going on, it all became abundantly clear to me. He would want revenge, evenif it wasn’t my fault. But I knew that was a possibility when I came to him.

Swallowing down the fear, I nodded. “I do have one request, though. When you get done torturing me or whatever it is you want to do, will you end my life by slicing my throat if you can find something sharp enough that will puncture the skin?” Just like I sliced Daisy’s.

“I have something sharp enough. Now hurry the fuck up. We’re going to be late for group.” The bite in his tone wasn’t as natural as usual. It felt forced and he sounded rattled. I was relieved that he didn’t ask me why I suddenly decided that my life was so meaningless. It was a conversation I didn’t want to have.

“Keep this between us.”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m not an idiot.”

I turned, reaching for the door and pushed it open before retreating into the hallway.

Group therapy felt like it dragged on forever, even though it had only been a couple of hours. When Mrs. Octavia released us, I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I made my way to my room and sat on the edge of the bed, grabbing Beary and holding him against my chest. His soft fur brushed along my skin, and my chest felt heavier with each intake of breath.

There was nothing here for me anymore, and I needed to keep reminding myself that in case I started having any doubts. I murdered two people, my mom most likely didn’t want to see me anymore, Alex was out there alone without me, I’d already caved and let two stupidly hot guys touch me. Alex deserved better. A part of me wanted to confess everything to him and hoped he’d understand, but the other part of me was too cowardly to do that. I suppose it didn’t matter anymore either.

I was nothing but a walking contradiction. Pretending to be good when deep down I was just as corrupt as everyone elsein this place. My first couple of weeks here, I’d been terrified. Scared that someone was going to attack me or make an example out of me in some way. In the end, I was begging for that exact same thing to happen to me. I wasn’t better than anyone here or anyone out in the real world. It was time for me to accept that.

The world was better off without me, and I was better off without it. That was fine. There was no one here who would miss me except for Alex, and he deserved so much better than I could give.

I leaned against the tree of our meeting spot with exhilaration pumping through my veins. The sky was a light blue, indicating the sun was on the brink of setting, but there was still a good enough view for me to see the surrounding trees and bushes. Nervous energy prickled along my skin as doubt started creeping in.

What if he didn’t show?

What if he told Archer and Jordan?

What if he snitched on me to the staff?

Mr. Mitch might have been cool for the most part, but I don’t think he’d allow a suicide attempt. Something like that wouldn’t be swept under the rug. There would be paperwork and a body to dispose of.

Just when I started to lose all hope, I saw him.

Seven stepped through the trees, his skin sparkling like diamonds beneath the dark sky. My gaze zeroed in on his hand, a knife twirling between his fingers.

I can’t believe I’m really doing this.

When he approached, a small smile graced his lips which was so unlike the version of him that I knew. “Ready to die, little virgin?”

Despite the heavy weight on my chest from his words and from the situation altogether, a huff of laughter slipped from my lips. “I guess I am about to die a virgin, huh?”

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