Page 60 of Bleed for Me

Please, God. Bring her back to me. Make this my final request.

“No,” I choked out.

“The adrenaline,” she continued. “You liked that.”

Glancing up at her through my tears, my chest rattled with every intake of breath. That was a big word for her, one she didn’t even know how to pronounce. But I was so wrapped up in the horror of my sister that it didn’t matter.

“Admit it,” she demanded, black streaks spilling down her cheeks.

I shook my head.

“Admit it!” She screamed, the sound piercing through me.

“Fine. I fucking liked it! But I don’t like that you’re gone! Are you happy now?”

My body jerked in bed, ripping me from the horrible nightmare I’d just been subjected to. My chest heaved erratically; my throat raw like I’d been screaming in my sleep. I couldn’t keep living like this. She should be here.

My breathing calmed as I came to a sudden realization. I couldn’t keep living at all.

It didn’t matter that one day I’d get out of here. It didn’t matter that I still had Alex. It didn’t matter that Gentry was finally gone. Nothing mattered if Daisy was no longer here. The dream version of her might have been right. The adrenaline of taking a life was consuming. Watching Gentry topple over had been exhilarating. That’s what had given me the rush. Not killing Daisy. When I realized I hurt her, my entire body seized up. She was the only thing in the world that truly mattered to me.

If I wanted to end my life, there was only one person who could truly do that for me—who would be willing to get rid of me. Well, aside from the twins. I had a feeling their methods were a lot more unhinged, and I’d prefer to go more quickly. But Seven hated me from the moment I showed my face, from the moment Archer noticed me. He might have touched me, made me feel good during a stolen, drunken night, but I knew that wasn’t enough for him to forget his hatred for me. I might have been innocent in the physical department, but I wasn’t naïve. Sex to guys like him didn’t matter. Touching a woman or fingering them, licking them, none of that mattered.

Shoving myself up from my bed, my feet connected with the cold, tiled floor. My thoughts blurred together, but the outcome was the same. To die. I knew I couldn’t mess this up. If I did, I’d end up in solitary, or worse. It needed to be executed precisely.

I glanced at the clock on my wall, my heart beating wildly. I’d live today like it was my last, and then I’d die as soon as the sun set, as soon as Mr. Mitch clocked in. He never did head count like he was supposed to, he never bothered us. It was the perfect opportunity.

My body thrummed to life with ecstatic energy. I wasn’t scared. This was acceptance. It no longer mattered that I’d have to live this life without her. I’d join her.

I crossed the room and changed my clothes as quickly as possible before slipping on my shoes and running a brush through my hair. When I was presentable enough, I stepped out into the hallway. As expected, it was bustling with noise due to people leaving their rooms and heading toward the cafeteria.

I hopped in the breakfast line, my skin prickling with anticipation. This was it. This is what I wanted. Suddenly, the air entered my lungs more easily, and for the first time in a long time, I felt alive.

I even smiled at the lunch lady when she made my plate, which she hesitantly returned. Grabbing my meal, I fixed a cup of coffee and glanced around the cafeteria. Instead of heading to my usual table, I started for Archer’s table instead, knowing he wouldn’t turn me away. He’d been more distant lately. Ever since he cornered me in the bathroom and kissed me. We’d only really spoken once after that, and it was because I caught him and Seven screwing in the woods.

Archer’s eyebrows rose when he spotted me making my way toward him. I slipped down into the empty spot next to him with Seven on his other side, who was glaring daggers into the side of my face, but for once, I didn’t give a shit. Becausenothingmattered anymore.

“You seem different today,” Archer pointed out skeptically, his eyes searching mine for a hint of why that might be.

I shrugged. “It’s a good day to be alive.” He didn’t need to know that this was the last day I planned on living. Knowing him, he would try to stop me. That was a risk I wasn’t willing to take. I couldn’t go to Jordan about it because he’d bluntly told me that he kept his word, and he promised to protect me. That was another risk I wasn’t willing to take.

“Why are you over here?” Seven demanded with an edge to his tone. A flicker of annoyance flashed within his icy blue eyes, like he wanted me anywhere but here. He could stomach it for the day.

“Why are you?” I shot back.

Archer released a laugh, glancing over at his lover slash friend. It was hard to understand their dynamic. When his gaze returned to mine, they sparkled with a mixture of admiration and amusement. “You’re feisty today.” He smirked. “I like it.”

As much as I wanted to say that I didn’t give a shit about what he liked or didn’t, there was no mistaking the way my heart sped up at his words, like my body yearned for his approval. But that was another thing I didn’t have to dwell on, because it would all be over soon.

Even when Archer’s hand landed on my bare thigh, I didn’t so much as flinch. I’d actually expected it. Anytime we sat together, he had this need to touch me.

Jordan glanced up from his sketchpad, his eyes skimming down on me where I sat. A small tug of his lips had me following the movement, and it took me a minute to realize he was almost smiling.

“What are you doing in my spot?” A screech sounded from behind me. Archer’s hand tightened on my thigh, sending sparks of electricity careening through me.

I glanced over my shoulder, my eyes connecting with Alina’s brown ones. A small smile tugged at my lips, but before I couldreply, Archer beat me to it. “This is her spot today,” he said dismissively.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Rachel snapped, her eyes narrowing into slits as she glared at me. “Wealwayssit here.” Under any other circumstance, I’d probably be shaking in my shoes beneath their evil gazes, but today, it didn’t so much as phase me. They wouldn’t have to worry about me come tomorrow.

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