Alex moved his hands to grip my waist, conflict written into his features. His jaw tightened as his gaze traveled over my chest. “Shit, Rosalie.” He breathed. “You’re making this difficult.”
“It doesn’t have to be,” I whispered. “I want you, Alex. So much.” Bracing my hands on his shoulders, I ground myself against him, a gasp falling from my lips.
His head dropped back against the sofa, his breathing getting heavier by the second. A choked groan sounded from the depths of his throat as I moved my center against him. As if snapping out of his haze, his grip tightened around my waist in a painful hold, and he pushed me backward.
“I-I can’t.” He jumped from the couch once my feet were safely on the floor, his hands moving through his dark hair. “Why did you have to do this?” he snapped, turning on me.
“I just wanted you.”
He shook his head. “We’ve been over this. Time and time again. Can you really not respect that I want to wait until marriage?” he demanded.
My face heated with embarrassment, and I glanced away as the tears surfaced. Was it selfish to want my own boyfriend? I didn’t think it was, but he was looking at me like I was some kind of monster.
Sighing, he spoke out again, more softly this time. “I’m going for a drive. Don’t wait up.” And with that, he slipped out of my dorm room, leaving me to my thoughts and tears.
That was the last time I attempted anything sexual with him. Granted, it had only been a handful of months since that happened now, but the pain of his rejection still punctured my heart deeply and I felt it to this day. Archer was right. I wanted to feel wanted and desired. My relationship with Alex was safe, but he didn’t give me what I craved. However, I wasn’t going to toss my entire relationship out over it, either. It didn’t feel rightafter being with him for so long. We had plans, a future, and lust wasn’t going to get in the way of that.
Ryder walked by my side, motioning to a door every now and then to tell me which classes they were. None of them had appealed to me so far. Surprisingly, I found that I enjoyed his company. He was easygoing, didn’t flirt with me, or threaten me. He was safe, for now. I wasn’t sure what his diagnostics were, but for once, I didn’t want to know.
We stopped outside of another door, and he gestured toward it. “This is the art room,” he explained.
Intrigued, my gaze drifted up and down the door with interest. “Really? When are the classes?”
He glanced over at me. “Wednesdays and Fridays, but you don’t have to attend both every week. Just one at least. You interested in art?”
I’d never given it much thought, but I did enjoy coloring and creating something that was beautiful to me. I wasn’t opposed to drawing or learning how to draw. Hesitantly, I nodded.
A smile graced his lips, and he turned to the clipboard resting against the wall near the door. “Both days?” he asked.
“Just Fridays.” I had church on Wednesdays and didn’t want to risk missing it. Not when Valentine had promoted me to assistant. I was excited to get more involved. So far, I’d only managed to hang up the brochures he’d given me.
He silently wrote my name in before turning to face me again. “Anything else you want to fit into your schedule?”
“Maybe eventually, but this will do for now. Thank you, Ryder.” His gaze darted to my lips before he met my eye again, a genuine smile twisting the corners of his mouth.
“Anytime, Rosalie. I’ll see you at the party tomorrow.” He turned and walked away before I could say anything else, but maybe he figured that’s what I wanted.
I turned to walk away, but smacked right into a wall, forcing me to stumble backwards. Jordan caught my arm to help steady me, accusation written into his features.
My heart was hammering against my ribcage. “What the hell are you doing?” I snapped, moving my hand over my rapidly beating chest.
“Protecting you,” he replied dryly.
“So, what? You’re following me now?”
He rolled his eyes as if this entire conversation was beneath him. I hated how he acted like he was above everyone else all the time.Hewas the crazy one. “Don’t flatter yourself. I saw you walk out of group therapy with him.”
Annoyance bubbled up inside of me. When I accepted his deal, I didn’t expect him to follow me around like a second shadow. “So?” I pressed, narrowing my eyes at him.
“So…Ryder is dangerous,” he bit out, his jaw feathering as he clenched it.
I snorted in response. “So are you.”
“Are you trying to make this more difficult for me, or are you simply just that naïve?”
I folded my arms across my chest and glared up at him. He was such an asshole. Maybe I was being unreasonable, though. He was just doing what we agreed upon. It didn’t irritate me any less, regardless of that fact. I just wanted space from all of them. From Archer, Jordan, and especially Seven. My hands tightened into fists as my mind drifted back to the incident in the cafeteria yesterday. He poured chocolate milk all over me, ruining my white shirt in the process.
Pushing those thoughts away, I jutted out a hip, putting all my weight on that leg in annoyance. His gaze raked down mybody shamelessly and slowly, as if he were memorizing every part of me. Not that he needed to, I was stuck here for the time being. “Well, now that you’ve played white knight, you can go.” I waved a dismissive hand in his direction, but he didn’t miss a beat. His features hardened and he snatched my wrist mid-air. I winced with the pressure he inflicted, but had no time to focus on it, because he was pulling me toward him.