Page 46 of Bleed for Me

Hope swelled within me, and I couldn’t help but return his smile. He said exactly what I’d been hoping for. I’d be free to go home, soon. Not jail, not prison, not here. I’d be able toleaveand go back to college.

“Thank you, sir.”

“Of course.” He tipped his chin. “It’s almost time for group therapy. I’ll go ahead and let you go. Thank you for being open with me.”

I nodded and stood, feeling lighter than I had in weeks. I’d still always feel the loss of my sister, maybe I was holding on to Alex so tightly because I saw her in him as well. From all the fun times we’d had together. Daisy climbing on his back, him tickling her, helping me pick out gifts for her birthdays and Christmas. How open he was to the idea of her living with us once we graduated college. He loved her as much as I did. The thought of losing him felt like I’d be losing another piece of her memory. I did care about him, just like I always had. But he was also a huge part of my sister, and that made my bond with him stronger.

When I got to group therapy, I slipped into the seat between Cheyanne and Ryder. They seemed to be expecting me, leaving the chair open, which also made me happy.

Cheyanne smiled at me. “Hey,” she greeted. We didn’t speak a lot, just in therapy and at mealtimes. For some reason, I wanted to change that. She was a huge help, making this transition smoother for me, and I was open to a friendship with her. More than surface-level.

“Are you doing anything after this?” Ryder asked me before I had a chance to reply to Cheyanne.

I turned, glancing at him. “No, why?” My initial plan was to go back to my room and color or read, but that’s all I’d been doing since I got here, so I was more than open to alternatives.

“I was wondering if you wanted to go sign up for some classes today. I can take you.” He shrugged; a sheepish smile imprinted in his boyish features.

“Sure. Thanks.”

I turned back to the front of the room where Mrs. Octavia stood. She cleared her throat, trying to capture everyone’s attention, and taking a mental note of who was listening to her and who wasn’t.

“Today we will be doing a quiz over the movie we watched. I hope you were all paying attention,” she began, clutching a bunch of papers to her chest. Ms. Karla lurked in the far corner of her room, waiting to be summoned. Karla seemed to be closer to my mom’s age and had dark blonde hair pinned to the back of her head in a sleek style. Where my mom had weathered features, wrinkles, and stress lines, Karla’s skin was smooth and untouched. Mrs. Octavia motioned her over with a wave of her hand and once she’d moved to obey, the papers were thrusted toward her in an aggressive manner. My eyebrows dipped in confusion as I watched the exchange.

Tearing my gaze away, the magnetic pull I’d been feeling since I got here settled into my body. He was watching me. I could feel it, and it made my skin heat with unwanted acknowledgment. But it was the same pull I felt when Seven stared, too, or when Jordan spoke to me. So, it could be any one of them.

I shouldn’t care, but it was starting to become blatantly obvious that I did. Chancing a look in the direction I knew he was sitting, my breath caught in my throat as our eyes clashed. Suddenly, I was transported back in that bathroom with his hands on me, his lips against mine. The ecstatic current of electricity that had trickled through my body when his finger grazed my nipple—when he switched to his mouth moments later. My thighs clenched with the reminder, my breath shallowing. As much as I tried to school my features, it was pointless. The curl of his lips told me he knew exactly what was on my mind.

I wanted to feel that way again, but it couldn’t happen. I’d just have to live with the brief sample he’d given me and move on, hoping that one day, Alex would fulfill my sexual desires—my needs. I already knew that when and if Alex did touch me, it would never amount to the way Archer did. I wouldn’t feel the same magnetic pull or the electricity. That thought had my chest tightening as a painful reminder invaded my head space.

It was Valentine’s Day, and I wanted to surprise Alex. I’d just gotten done making heart-shaped sugar cookies with pink and red frosting painted over them. I also made chocolate covered strawberries. He was a sucker for sweets, but tried limiting himself the best he could, believing that too much indulgence was bad for our health. He believed that with everything, it seemed.

I’d gone to the store the night before and bought some lingerie, hoping it would spur him on to wanting me the wayI wanted him. A silk pink robe was wrapped around my body, and I’d spent extra time in the bath shaving, soaking, and washing. I’d even put on the lotion and perfume he always liked. Beneath my robe was a see-through bra with hearts on it and a matching thong. It was my first time wearing a thong, and I kind of liked the freedom of it. The last time I’d attempted anything sexually with him, it didn’t go well, but that was nearly a year ago now.

I placed the cookies on a plate and the strawberries on another, taking them over to the small couch within my dorm room and put them on the small circular table before it. Since there wasn’t an actual oven in here, I had to buy one of those smaller ones, so it took much longer to make these and by the time I was done, I was sweaty. Luckily, I saved the bath for after. I’d even purchased condoms just in case, not wanting to be unprepared if he decided he finally wanted to have sex.

Three small candles were set along the edges of the table, the rose scent drifting through the air. Making my way back to the kitchen, I retrieved two glasses of apple cider, knowing he wouldn’t want to drink alcohol for obvious reasons. He was more religious than I was.

Once finished, I sat on the couch just in time for the doorknob to turn. He stepped in with a gift bag hanging from his fingers, his eyes taking in the room before settling on me.

He didn’t seem put off by my choice of clothing, not that he could see what was on underneath. He closed the door behind him and joined me on the sofa, his gaze raking over the goodies I’d made.

“This looks amazing, baby.” He smiled, moving his eyes back to me. “I got you something.” He handed me the gift bag which I readily took.

My heart pounded with nervousness, still hung up wondering if he’d reject me or not. The last time hurt, and I’dsworn to never attempt it again after that, but I really wanted him. My friends had all had sex and boasted about how great it was. I wanted to know what it felt like.

Reaching into the bag, my fingers grazed against a card, so I latched onto that first. Opening the pink envelope, I pulled the card from within it and read. It wasn’t personalized, just a cute poem that the creator printed on it. Putting the card off to the side, I reached into the bag again and grabbed a small velvet box. My heart thundered beneath my ribcage for various reasons. Lifting the lid, a sigh of defeat left me when I saw the small, heart-shaped earrings.

“They’re beautiful.” I forced a small smile.

“You don’t like them.” He sighed, running a hand over his face.

It wasn’t that I didn’t like them, I just thought that maybe…he was proposing. “It’s not that at all,” I assured him. “I promise.”

His shoulders relaxed with relief, and he nodded. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I shook my head. “But I do want to do this.” I smirked, climbing onto his lap and winding my arms around his neck. I lowered my lips to his, which he returned eagerly. His kiss was much softer than mine, and even when I tried to heat it up more, he didn’t change his pace. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. Want and desire consumed me and the throb between my legs intensified.

Breaking away from the kiss, he glanced up at me with hooded eyes. Hope swelled within my chest, the want in his gaze prominent. If he refused me now, it would be humiliating. Swallowing my pride, I shifted, feeling the erection in his slacks against me. Sucking in a sharp breath, the material of my robe slipped down my shoulders, and I bared myself to him.

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