Page 32 of Bleed for Me

He had the power to do that to me right now. My back arched into him absently, as if it had a mind of its own. He never tightened his hand around my neck, though. He just held it there in a firm grip. With his other hand, he brushed it along my thigh, his fingers dancing upwards, eliciting a series of goosebumps as he halted at the hem of my skirt.

“Tell me, Rosalie.” He breathed in a low, husky tone. “Have you ever been touched down there?”

My hand clamped around his. There was no way he was going to touch me there, especially in a room full of people. He was stupid if he thought for one second that I’d allow him to. When I didn’t immediately answer, he released my neck and used that hand to continue his advances.

“Answer me,” he demanded, slipping his fingers beneath my skirt, his long digits gracing my panty line. I tensed immediately and shook my head, shock punching through my chest. “With words, Little Salvation.”

“No,” I choked out, grabbing his other hand to stop it from going any further. “Stop.”

He was silent for a moment, my words taking a moment to register in his mind. “Have you noticed that every time I touch you, the line where you tell me to stop goes further and further away?”

I shook my head, refusing to believe that. “You’ve only touched me twice now,” I pointed out.

“Maybe I just need to keep touching you then, to prove my point.” The smirk was evident in his voice. Then, his tone turned serious. “You shouldn’t have told me that,” he whispered,nipping my ear and sending a shudder through my body. A gasp fluttered free, my hands tightening around his.

“W-what?”

“That you’re a virgin, my innocent fucking girl.”

I made my way to the cafeteria for lunch with my heart in my throat. Nausea and guilt churned my stomach as I wrapped my arms around my body. Alex has never spoken to me the way Archer did—has nevertouchedme the way he did. It was wrong, so damn wrong, but I realized then, that as he was touching me, the horrible memories and thoughts remained buried. Not once had I been plagued with unwanted images or reminders of the things I’d done. While I was glad for the small reprieve, it also made me feel guilty. Then there was the fact that I had a boyfriend. A boyfriend who never made my heart race, a boyfriend who never made me gasp in both shock and pleasure, a boyfriend who never whispered dirty things to me.

What was happening to me?

I was content with Alex. He cared about me and was comfortable. He stood by my side even now, despite the awful things that I’d done. I was the one who agreed to being celibate with him and waiting for marriage. Even though it had sometimes bothered me, it was a choice I’d made. Our relationship was strong because of it.

We had just gotten back from a concert, adrenaline pumping through my veins from our night out. I smiled, widely, wrapping my arms around Alex’s waist and peered up at him as he rested his hands on my hips, returning a smile. We were holed away in my dorm room; he never spent the night with me, but he was around often enough that it didn’t matter.

Rising up on my tiptoes, I planted my mouth against his. He reacted immediately, parting his lips to kiss me back. My hands moved up his body, trailing over the solid form of his abdomen. My teeth nicked his bottom lip gently. When he didn’t pull away, I kissed him harder. My hands dropped down to the button on his jeans, my heart racing wildly. I wanted to lose my virginity, to know what it felt like. He tensed as the button came undone, his hands moving to grip my arms, and he eased me backwards, breaking the heated moment.

“Alex…” I said hesitantly, my insecurities getting the better of me. Did he not want me the way I wanted him? Was he not attracted to me? Did I not turn him on? “What’s wrong?”

He sighed, dropping his head. “I thought you understood.”

“I ‘do’ understand. I just thought?—”

“Thought what?” he demanded, an edge to his voice that had me taking a step back. “That I’d cave and have sex with you? I thought I was clear on what I wanted.”

Guilt trickled in and I wrapped my arms around my body. How could I have been so stupid? It was selfish of me to press him for more. “You were.” I sighed. “I’m sorry. I just got lost in the moment.” My gaze darted to the floor, and I shifted uncomfortably.

He took a step toward me, enveloping me in his arms and planted a kiss to the top of my head. “It’s okay.” He breathed. “Temptation can be a dangerous thing. We’ll just have to work harder to keep sight of what’s truly important.”

I nodded, my heart resting in the depths of my stomach.

When I reached the front of the lunch line, the cafeteria lady handed me a bowl with macaroni and cheese with cut up hot dogs inserted within. I thanked her absentmindedly, my mind still focused on Alex. I grabbed a sweet tea and made my way over to Cheyanne’s table, sliding up beside her and placing my food on the table.

I took my spoon, placing it in the bowl and stirred. My stomach grumbled eagerly, but I couldn’t bring myself to take a bite just yet. This was one of Daisy’s favorite foods. Nearly everything reminded me of her. My chest tightened. Even thinking about Alex reminded me of her. He was around for most of my visits with her throughout college. He loved her like she was his family.

“You good?” Shaylynn asked from across the table, her gaze pinned on me.

“Oh…yeah,” I murmured. “I just miss my family.”

She nodded understandingly. “It gets easier.” That’s the same thing Cheyanne had said, but it didn’t offer me any comfort. She leaned across the table, sweeping her eyes over the three of us. “There’s a party this weekend in the woods if you want to take your mind off it,” she suggested in a low voice.

The woods. I remembered Archer showing them to me briefly, but I’d refused to go in there with him, not wanting to spend any more time with him alone in secluded areas than necessary.

“A party?” I repeated in confusion, finally willing myself to take my first bite. The warm cheese coated my lips and mouth, and a satisfied moan tore from my throat. This was better than any mac and cheese I’d ever made.

Shaylynn nodded, leaning back in her seat. “The staff never venture out that far, plus Mr. Mitch is on duty at night and he’s a lot more lenient.” A smile curled the corners of her mouth as she glanced over at Cheyanne who shifted uncomfortably.

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