Page 76 of Hidden Memories

I lift my mug. “I need to restock your fridge.”

“Never mind that. I get a huge discount at Piggletons. It’s a mutual thing because the owner needs a discount at mine for her cats. She has twenty.”

I nearly spit out my coffee. “Twenty?”

Her eyes widen in silent agreement. Julia has already told me she helps her neighbors. In my life, when people thought I was too much, they tore off a tiny piece of me, making me smaller and smaller until I fit better under the lens of their microscope and they could examine and judge me more easily.

Julia just shrugs at the cat lady and gives her a discount.

She takes a sip and leans against the counter. It doesn’tescape me that I didn’t answer her question about Theo being okay, but Julia is good at letting people come to her. I almost laugh inside. It’s what I do with Theo. I’m starting to see where he gets his guarded nature from. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

My heart crumples like it’s made of aluminum foil and the sharp edges stab at my chest. We might be broken, but I’m determined to fix us. The only way to do that is to show I can add value.

I don’t know how to accept this—people being good to me for no reason. Every kindness I’ve ever known has come with strings. Conditions. Consequences. If people do something for you, they expect something in return. I wait for Julia to ask for repayment, to mention rent, to hint that maybe this arrangement isn’t as open-ended as it seems. But she doesn’t. And that, somehow, makes me even more uneasy.

“I’m not going to Santi’s today, Julia. I want to work and…”

“I know it’s a sensitive subject, but I’m giving you sick days.”

I don’t know how to feel about that. We do need the money. But… “You don’t have to…”

“Nonsense. You got hurt on the job.” She pops a slice of bread in the toaster. “If you won’t take a day for yourself, do it for Theo.”

“Are you kidding? All that kid wants to do is be at your shop,” I say lightly.

She laughs. “He loves the live bait and my ant farm. Do you know I bought that ant farm for my youngest daughter? When she left home, I took it out of the house and brought it to the shop because I kept thinking she’d come back for it, she loved it so much.” Julia revisits a memory with a smileon her face. “I’ve upgraded the formicarium twice now because I can’t bear to part with it.”

The corner of her eyes crinkle with happy memories. “I used to think that thing was so gross. I hated having ants in the house. Now it’s one of my most treasured memories of Izabella.” She smiles to herself. “You know, that thing has been in the corner of the shop for years, and nobody has mentioned it before Theo. When you were at the station talking to Callum, he told me he wants to be an entomologist. He had to explain that’s a bug expert. Maybe he’ll meet my daughter one day. She’s a scientist. I like being around Theo, he reminds me of Izzy.”

It’s beautiful how Theo allows Julia to live her memories all over again. I guess some people you want around not for what they do for you, but for how they make you feel. I’ve only ever experienced this with Santi when we used to spend hours under our tree. He never did anythingforme, he did thingstome. I didn’t even know who I was when I met him, but I found myself with him. I was finally comfortable in my own skin. No wonder I crave being around him again…

I thought I lost that woman forever, and he invites her back.

Just like Theo brings Izzy back to Julia.

“Anyway, young lady,” Julia sets her gaze back on me, “I knew you wouldn’t go to Santi’s today since he told me so much this morning. He mentioned you’re an artist, so I set up an art lesson for you and Theo with a local friend, Arthur.”

This time Santi won’t kill me with a broken heart, it will be death by swooning.

“Arthur will have everything you need. I told him to grab you two at Café Luna at eleven. But he might be thereat ten forty-five. Or maybe eleven-twenty-two. He doesn’t own clocks of any sort.”

“Okay.” I laugh; he sounds like a character fromAlice in Wonderland.

“Well, thank you. I…” My heart swells thinking of doing art again. “I’m looking forward to it.”

I haven’t held a paintbrush in years. I smooth my fingers along the wooden table, imagining the grain under my fingertips smudged with charcoal, the scent of acrylic paint clinging to my skin. The thought alone makes my chest tighten with something close to longing.

I want to see what’s left of that girl who dreamed of color and form and life beyond what other people wanted from her.

Maybe she’s still there, buried beneath the wreckage. Maybe it’s time to start digging her out.

A kind smile comes over Julia’s face. “Moms need fun, too, sometimes.”

Chapter Nineteen

PRESENT

Theo watchesan online grammar lesson which he has asked me to stop about three times. But I need a moment to think and I need to take homeschooling seriously. I don’t want him falling behind.

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