Page 46 of Restricted List

“They are.” I can’t contain my wistful sigh when I think about our situation. “Lucia, what the hell do I do?”

“Give in.” She says it like it’s the most obvious answer in the world.

“It’s not that simple. You know that.”

“I also know that after an earful from me and the rest of our friends, your dad would have no choice but to come around. If he wants you to be happy, he needs to let you be the one to decide on what it is thatmakesyou happy.”

I mull over Lucia’s words.

On the surface, they make perfect sense. And in a perfect world, all of that could be true.

But my dad coming around to the idea of me with Cole? There’s no chance.

It won’t be because he doesn’t think Cole’s a great guy or anything—he knows he is. But he’s been in the league in some form since the late eighties, and he’s seen how the players can be.

Different girl every night. Cheating on their partner when they’re out of town. Refusing to settle down at all because of their chaotic schedule.

But even more than that? It comes from his own experiences. From what he’s told me, he and my mom were only casual because of his schedule. But then he got her pregnant.

He cared about her and wanted to be there for her and for me. So, he tried. He stayed with her and became a wonderful, doting father.

But as a partner, he fell short. He wasn’t there enough. He was always busy. And he missed being able to do whatever he wanted when he was on the road.

My mom felt neglected and eventually started to resent me because I was her only tie to him.

So, she left, and my dad didn’t chase her, which I do think was for the best—they were never in love. They were together due to an unforeseen circumstance.

In his mind, every baseball player is just like him, unable to find the right balance or desire to make a relationship work.

I know he’s wrong, but I don’t think he’ll ever shake that mindset. In his eyes, Cole would never be able to give me enough for a healthy, loving relationship.

And I know that couldn’t be further from the truth.

sixteen

Rory

Cole

Any more pictures for me, Starlight?

Rory

The one this morning wasn’t enough?

Cole

Hey, I’ll take the sight of you in cowboy boots

But I’m sure you look good right now, too

Since our almost-kiss, Cole has been so muchflirtier.

We haven’t stopped texting since the moment the girls and I landed in Vegas. I’m not glued to my phone, of course, since we’re here for Ella, but whenever I can, Cole and I are firing texts off to each other.

When I sent him the picture of me in my outfit for Garth Brooks, he was clear in expressing how good I look in cowboyboots and flannel. I felt a little ridiculous in it last night, but now it might just be my favorite outfit.

And here we are with him telling me that he’s sure I look good now, too.

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