Page 9 of Restricted List

“You’re a dick,” she laughs, shaking her head.

I just smile, soaking in the normalcy of our conversation.

It may not be normal to everyone else, but Rory and I always poke and prod each other, looking for a reaction that outshines the last one. Friendship with her is so damn easy.

Wanting her for more? Not so easy.

In fact, I’d say that’s really fucking hard—literally and figuratively.

But I’ve ignored that feeling for more than three years. I’ll just have to keep doing it.

The more I ignore it, though, the larger the flame inside me grows each time she’s around.

I’m still okay right now, but I know one day, the fire will all but consume me.

three

Rory

“Thank you for helping,”Lane says as he, Sage, and I stroll back into his penthouse.

Sage apparently dropped her favorite stuffed dinosaur when walking back from the parade yesterday. Lane called in reinforcements to help find it—and by reinforcements, I mean he called his daughter’s favorite nanny.

By some fucking miracle, we find it right outside the stadium, just a bit of dirt dotting the bottom.

“You know I’ll always run to help my Lovebug,” I smile.

That’s true; I would drop almost anything to run over and help her. I’ve always loved kids—I have a degree in early childhood education—but Sage is the best one I know. I’m always happy to be here if she needs me.

But running over here and helping today wasn’tentirelyabout Sage. I also just needed to get out of my head.

Cole and I might not be acting awkward around each other now, but I’m still playing that moment in the showers over again and again in my mind.

We agreed that it was the adrenaline of the World Series win. Maybe that’s true for Cole.

Me?

No. I wanted it.

I wanted to give my friend a fucking blow job while his team was twenty feet away celebrating.

Thank God we stopped before anything actually happened. Nothing will ever be able to happen between us.

My dad will never change, and it would be stupid of Cole to risk his career. But even more so, I can’t believe he’d ever see me as more than a friend.

I just have to accept that.

“Rory?” Lane says, abruptly bringing me out of my trance.

“Huh?”

“You didn’t hear a damn thing I said. What’s with you this week? You were late yesterday, and you’re constantly spacing out. You’re acting weird.”

“It’s… nothing,” I say. “Definitely nothing.”

He chuckles. “Rory, you only have a good poker face when you’re playing cards. Right now, I know you’re full of shit.”

I lean back against his kitchen counter as I throw my head back and sigh. “Guy troubles, that’s all.”