Page 123 of Restricted List

“I hope so. This parenting shit is hard, and I can’t help but feel like I’m failing her.”

“What would possibly make you think that?”

“I’m always busy, especially during the season. She loves having you watch her, but I feel like I’m not involved enough sometimes. I’m single—she doesn’t have a mom. She’s at the mercy of me flying by the seat of my pants, and I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing.”

I look at him in concern. “Are you okay, Lane?”

“I don’t know,” he breathes, closing his eyes to regain his composure. “I think it’s all just hitting me at once, you know? I’ve been doing this solo for two years now.”

“And you dote on your daughter. She’s playful and smart and so loving. Those are thingsyoutaught her. I know I’m not a parent myself, but I have a background in childcare. It’s normal to feel that way. Most parents do at one point or another. But don’t ever doubt how great of a father you are to her. You gave up the bachelor lifestyle and immediately got everything you could ever need for a newborn. You know more than you think.”

A small smile crosses his face as my words sink in. “Thanks, Rory. I’m sorry to just unload all of that on you.”

“You have no need to apologize. Parenting is stressful, especially when you don’t have your family.”

“Yeah,” he says sullenly. “God, I miss them.”

“I know you do. But you still have a family. YouandSage do. Family doesn’t have to be blood.”

“God, this is too emotional.” Lane lets out a breathy laugh. “Can we change the subject?”

“You started that, dude.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he says dismissively. “I’ve been thinking about signing Sage up for ballet lessons.”

“Oh, that would be fun!” I exclaim. “I’m sure she’d love that.”

“Would you be okay with that? You’d probably have to help a lot with that during the season.”

“Of course, I’m okay with it. I think that would be good for her. It would be a fun way to help her get all of her energy out.”

“That’s what I’m hoping for,” he says. “How’s Cole?”

I bite my lip to suppress my smile. “He’s good.”

Lane looks at me and grins. “I’ve never seen you this fucking happy, Rory.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy,” I admit. “Cole is amazing.”

“He seems really happy, too. Like really fucking happy.”

“I like to think he is. I hope I make him as happy as he makes me.”

He has a soft smile on his face as he says, “I know you do. You two are good together. Do you really think it’s a good idea to keep it from your dad, though?”

I just sigh. “I don’t think we have a choice right now. I’m not completely naive—I know he’s going to find out eventually. I’m just hoping I can get him used to the idea of me dating one of his players before that happens.”

“I get your reasoning, and I’m not trying to change your mind. But I think the longer you keep this secret, the worse it’s going to be when he finds out.”

Fuck.

I know he’s right.

And I honestlyhatekeeping my relationship hidden from my dad.

But being with me is a huge risk to Cole, and I’m going to do my damndest to protect him.

Sage has been having so much fun at her party. Sure, she’s the only kid, but that just means she has every adult doting on her right now.

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