Page 76 of Married with Mayhem

“Three years ago, I happened to attend a gaming convention at the Javits Center. That’s where I met Jeffrey. He was already a big name in the gaming world and I felt a little starstruck to be meeting him in person. He was ten years older, good looking and brilliant and I’d never had a real boyfriend before so I was really flattered and fell hard. About a month after we met we had sex for the first time. I mean, he’d been with other people but I hadn’t. The first time didn’t really go well. I guess I was too nervous. I didn’t enjoy it at all. The second time wasn’t any better, or the time after that. Jeffrey had a lot of complaints. He said sex wasn’t really an issue with any of his other girlfriends so he didn’t know what my problem was. He urged me to watch porn so I would get some ideas but then he’d ridicule me when I tried them. He said that I had to be the most frigid girl on the planet and suggested that I needed to see a doctor for some medication because I clearly wasn’t normal. Whenever I broke up with him he’d come crawling back, pleading for another chance. As you can guess, it never took long for him to revert back to the same patterns. He'd tell me about all the women he’d slept with while we were apart and suggest that if I just tried a little harder, then I could stop disappointing him.”

She pauses to take a deep breath and when she continues, she can hardly talk through her tears.

“I’m very embarrassed to admit how long it took for me to realize that what got Jeffrey off was tearing me down, humiliating me. Sometimes he’d stand me in front of the mirror just to catalogue my many flaws. He would only stop when I began to cry. I’m sure I wasn’t the first girl he ever treated like that but I was probably the most clueless. It wasn’t just about sex either. He said my game designs were a joke and I’d never succeed in this industry. He also said he should be the one totake care of me since I was obviously a loser in life and would never get anywhere on my own.”

She stops talking and the only noise in the room is the rhythmic ticking of the wall clock.

I have no idea what Jeffry looks like but I can very clearly picture murdering him with my bare hands.

It’s diabolical what he did, fucking with her head in such a calculated manner. He took her trust and her innocence and then deliberately shredded her self-esteem. Instead of being patient and making her feel good, he tried to ruin sex for her in a very sick and cruel way while scheming to keep her dependent on him. Worst of all, the seeds of doubt that motherfucker planted are still haunting her.

I’ve seen this pain in her face and didn’t fully understand what it was. Now I do. I saw it earlier in the mirror when she shrank away from me and covered herself when we were on the verge of erasing the last boundary between us.

“Say something,” she pleads. “I can’t stand the silence.”

My throat feels raw and I clear it before asking, “How long did this go on for?”

“After eight months of back and forth, I finally broke things off for good. He kept calling me and trying to wear me down and take him back. I was far too embarrassed to tell anyone the truth. Then one night Anni found me crying and I spilled my guts. Let me tell you, hell hath no fury like my big sister. The next day she marched into a seminar where Jeffrey was speaking and announced that if he ever came near me again she’d make him eat his own dick after she shredded his testicles with a cheese grater.”

Anni has just earned a fan for life. I’d like to do far worse toJeffrey.

“Where is he now?” I ask. My right hand curls into an involuntary fist.

“Prison,” she says, sounding more cheerful.

That was not the answer I expected. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, he got busted for embezzling money from one of his companies. He’ll be there for a while. Some tragedies do have happy endings.” She laughs but it’s definitely forced. I know the sound of her real laugh and this isn’t it.

My heart aches for her. “Sabrina, what that man did to you was fucking evil.”

“I know that. I was stupid.”

“You’re far from stupid. He’s just a vile, psychotic prick. You haven’t really dated anyone since him, have you?”

“No, but technically I’m married now so I guess I have an excuse.” Another forced laugh.

“Brina, honey, listen to me-”

“What time are we leaving in the morning?” She cuts me off, changing the subject on purpose. There’s a rustling noise as she climbs into bed.

“Early,” I say. “We’ve got about nine hours of driving before we reach Sleepy Rock. We should be there before dinner.”

“I’m so excited to see Anni and Jane,” she says amid the sound of burrowing underneath the covers.

She’s given a clear signal that she has no wish to discuss the Jeffrey matter anymore. But I can’t let the night end without telling her something crucial.

“You don’t need to say anything,” I tell her. “But you should know that I meant it when I said you’re beautiful. Youarebeautiful, Brina, inside and out. It’s no longer a secret that I want you. I want you so much and I have trouble thinking about anything else when we’re together. I’ll tell you right now, the list of girls with the power to leave me rattled and flustered is short.Veryshort. You’re the only one on it. And just so we’re clear on something, you could never disappoint me, Sabrina. Never.”

She sniffles again in her nest of blankets. I would gladly crawl in there and hold her all night if she asked me to.

Instead, I stretch out on the other mattress and watch the ceiling for a while. I’m far from tired but I don’t want to keep her awake with the light from my phone.

This whole day has felt fucking surreal. At one point I touch the ring on my finger to prove to myself that this whole insane roller coaster really happened.

Just as my eyelids are starting to grow heavy, a sweet voice says, “Good night, Monte.”

“Good night, baby,” I whisper back and shut my eyes.

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