Page 15 of Married with Mayhem

“I’m afraid I’ll drop my backpack.”

“Hand it over. I’ll carry that too.”

“But my laptop is inside.”

“Do you think I eat laptops for breakfast? Give me the freaking thing. Let’s go.”

I’d much rather gnash my teeth over the pain and limp all the way to the car. But Monte was nice enough to drop everything and dash out here to pick me up so starting an argument within the first five minutes feels bratty.

With reluctance, I hand him my backpack, which contains all of my worldly possessions, at least until my mammoth suitcase shows up. Monte promptly wears it on his chest and throws me a look of impatience.

“Um.” I raise my left leg three inches off the ground.

He snaps his fingers twice. “Come on, cupcake. I’m not the Matterhorn. No strategy required. Climb aboard.”

With a deep breath, I place my palms on his shoulders. His exceedingly broad shoulders.

The instant I lean into Monte’s back, he hooks his arms around my knees. My arms circle his neck and I unleash an embarrassing yelp of fear as he stands up.

“Have some faith,” Monte says as he takes off at a brisk pace. “I swore I wouldn’t drop you.”

“I have faith,” I grumble.

“In that case, can you use your faith to quit strangling me?”

“Sorry.” I relax my arms, which were looped tightly around his neck.

As the anxiety fades, I marvel over Monte’s strength. He’s not remotely winded as he marches doggedly along. I’m short but I’m not exactly light as a feather.

My sisters have always called me ‘voluptuous’ and claimed to be envious of my figure. Easy for them to say. Daisy and Anni are both willowy and graceful. I’m neither. I’ve got boobs and hips and an ass. Yet Monte lifted me without even a grunt of effort.

My face heats up as I realize my bare thighs are locked around his waist. I feel the flex of his muscles with every step. The warmth of his hard body rubs right up against my skin.

Truth be told, this is the most action I’ve seen in a while. A long while. And I have an overactive mind that tends to go to dirty places.

Naturally, there have been times when I’ve wondered what it would be like to have sex with Monte. After all, I’m human. I have hormones. Monte is gorgeous and according to gossip, he knows how to please.

I can’t relate. My bedroom talents are a little deficient. I’ve been told this in no uncertain terms and I have every reason to believe it’s true.

In theory, I know exactly where everything goes and what’s supposed to happen. But the reality of sex turned out to bea different experience than the hypothetical. As a result, it’s become much easier to stick with my depraved fantasies than risk disappointing anyone again. Once is humiliating enough.

Anyway, Monte has never given a sign that he sees me as anything other than some kind of vaguely annoying acquaintance so I have nothing to worry about.

As I stuff all filthy thoughts to the back of my mind, the pressure is off and I can relax. Being carried isn’t all that bad. For one thing, I get to see life as a tall person. It’s rather pleasant up here.

“This must be how it feels to go horseback riding,” I declare.

“It’s not,” Monte replies without breaking stride.

“How would you know?”

“Because I’ve been on horseback before.”

“I can’t picture that.”

“How come?”

“Nothing about you screams country boy.”

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