Page 59 of Married With Malice

I slide the pen through my fingers once more and return it to the inner pocket of my trench coat. The cuts to my knuckles are healing but the skin aches in the cold.

Flexing my stiff hands, I picture Anni as she looked while tending to my cuts. She worked steadily with a divot of concentration between her brows and her hair tucked behind her ears. She has a gentle, caring touch and the sight of her only inches away and so warm and angelic, just about cratered my chest in.

I had to have her, to bury myself inside her and forget the existence of everyone else but her. And I wasn’t tender about it, not that she minded. We savaged each other in a quest to feel good and blot out all the ugliness. At times like that I’m convinced fate has connected us on a level that can’t be put into words.

It always sends me over the edge the way she’s so eager to feel everything, to doabsolutely fucking everything. She’s so sexy and exciting she makes my head spin.

This time she wanted more than sex. She wanted to talk. Nothing would have felt more natural than holding my wife close all night long and sharing the turmoil in my head.

But later on I would have cursed myself for my own selfishness.

How could I burden her with the awful shit I’d done?

She might have felt responsible, even guilty. Everything I did was done willingly. The responsibility is mine alone.

Anyway, by the next morning Annalisa was back to being petulant and generally irked by my presence while she stalked around in heels and avoided eye contact.

If I had to guess, I’d say she’s bored and frustrated with her new domestic life. She doesn’t ask for my input but maybe she’d be more cheerful if she went back to doing some of the things she used to enjoy instead of sulking in the house.

More than anything, I’d love to figure out how to make her happy but for that to happen she needs to be willing to tolerate my company outside of the bedroom.

Monte and Nico start to wander away from the railing.

“Let’s go get something to eat,” Nico says and the brothers wait for me to join them.

The boardwalk traffic is light for a Saturday. The cold wind rolling off the ocean doesn’t help. Among the intrepid pedestrians there are a lot of parkas and pom hats.

“Look who it is.” Monte gestures to a familiar red and white food truck in the parking lot.

The words BIG MAN BOWIE’S BURGERS scream in vivid paint. There’s also a cartoon version of Big Man Bowie himself with a big, dopy grin. Cartoon Big Man Bowie now has a mate, a smiling cartoon Daisy.

I’m still admiring the artistry when the real Daisy steps out of the truck. She’s looking festive in a puffy red jacket and a huge, flashy necklace made of red and green jingle bells.

Big Man Bowie sticks his head out of the ordering window. She stretches up on tiptoe to give him a kiss. He looks up as we approach and when recognition sets in he starts ecstatically pointing like he’s just spotted Tom Cruise.

Nico coughs up some laughter and I shoot the brothers a look that’s meant as a message not to be dicks to my brother-in-law.

Daisy turns around, her cheeks pink and her face alight. “Oh, it’s Luca!” She waves her arm in the air with a broad smile.

There’s enough of a hint of Annalisa in her smile to tempt me to wave back.

Daisy trots over and gives me a warm hug. She gives Monte a hug. She gives Nico a hug. Then she gives me another hug.

“Come here,” she laughs and grabs my hand like we’re little kids.

I get tugged over to Big Man Bowie, who is leaning so far out of the window he’s in danger of toppling to the ground.

“Hey, guys! What kind of burgers are you having? I’ll make you anything you want.”

Nico and Monte, perpetually interested in all the greasiest food groups, step right up to the window.

Daisy squeezes my arm. “I’m so happy you came to see us.”

I’d hate to puncture her joy by pointing out that I had no idea she’d be here. It completely slipped my mind that Big Man Bowie sometimes gets permission to park his food truck in the area.

“How are you two doing?” I ask, just as Monte and Nico accept Big Man Bowie’s invitation to check out the inside of the truck.

“We’re amazing,” she says. Her lovestruck eyes remain on her husband until he disappears from the window. Then she peers up at me and cocks her head. “You look different. You look more like Cale now.”

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