Page 7 of Married With Malice

What do I care if the alliance between our families gets fractured in the process?

Everyone should have thought of that before trading our fates like poker chips.

The funny thing is that Luca and Daisy hardly spoke during their ‘engagement’. Luca kept his distance and was in no hurry to tie the knot. I was counting on the fact that he’d be even less excited about getting stuck with me. Surely I’d have no trouble delaying the wedding for a year or two. Or a decade.

Unfortunately, everyone was getting really antsy after the last debacle. My father has been downright gleeful about shoving me into Luca’s lap right away.

Now, a mere six weeks after Big Man Bowie and his hamburger truck upended everyone’s lives, five hundred guests are waiting for me to walk down the aisle at Holy Family Catholic Church. I’m told the governor and his wife are here. Hope they all like surprises.

“You need to get dressed now, Annalisa.” My mother tugs on my arm. “Everyone is waiting.”

Gently, I extract my arm from her grip. “Brina and Daisy will help me dress, Mama. You should go tend to the guests.”

My mother’s mouth purses with suspicion. Nobody would call her insightful but she still thinks I’m up to something. She’s right.

I snap my fingers to get Sabrina’s attention. Finally, my sister remembers her role in the skit we rehearsed.

“We’ll be helping Anni,” she says. “Really, Mama. It’s an American tradition for the bride to be alone with her sisters right before the wedding.”

“Aww.” Daisy puts a hand to her heart. “I didn’t know that. How sweet.”

It’s as if she’s already forgotten our conversation this morning. Now that she’s afflicted with Big Man Bowie lovesickness, she’s been even more scatterbrained than usual.

I shoot her a look. She responds with a clueless, radiant smile.

I’ll have to steer our mother to the door myself. “Give me fifteen minutes and I’ll be ready to walk down that aisle.”

My mother halts at the threshold and reaches out to tenderly stroke my cheek. “Luca is everything a man should be. And you willmake him very happy.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

“I’ll give Luca Connelly exactly what he deserves,” I say and then shut her out of the room, snapping the lock closed in case she’s tempted to barge in again.

The wedding dress I’m supposed to wear hangs on the back of the door. It’s been tailored to fit me like a glove. It’s a classy vintage Dior. It’s the exact opposite of my bridal vibe.

Sabrina waits for my instructions while eating a candy necklace. Daisy is admiring the flower bouquets.

“These are beautiful, Anni.” She sticks her face into some flowers and inhales. “But why so much lavender? You always hated the smell of lavender.”

“I still do.”

However, I once saw Luca have a sneezing fit when he stood too close to my mother’s lavender bushes in the backyard. Might have been a coincidence but I’m hoping he sneezes himself into a bloody nose today.

My sisters and I all inherited our mother’s hair, thick and a deep chestnut shade. Mine hangs halfway down my back. Right now it’s been curled to romantic perfection and has never looked better.

“Hand me some pins,” I say to Sabrina as I sit down and hastily gather a curtain of hair into a clumsy knot.

In the mirror, I see Daisy set the flowers down and gaze at me with concern. “I wish you’d leave your hair down. You look gorgeous. Like a romance book cover.”

A pin stabs me in the scalp, making me even more grumpy. “Gorgeous is not the look I’m aiming for. Brina, get the dress.”

Sabrina briefly loses her left shoe on her way to the closet where I stuffed my real wedding dress hours earlier but she manages to extract the garment bag without any additional mishaps. She unzips the bag and makes a face.

“Where’d you get this from, a costume shop?”

I shake my head to make sure the pins are firmly in place. “Yes.”

She shrugs. “Well, it is Halloween next week. Seasonally appropriate.”

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