Page 66 of Married With Malice

I know that I’m not easy to love.

The only people in the world who have ever managed to love me are Daisy and Sabrina and maybe my mother. Whenever I hoped there might be glimmers of a deeper bond growing with Luca, I was only kidding myself.

To my husband, I’m still just a plaything he uses for perverse pleasure. This truth cuts far more deeply than the memory of some stupid college era breakup possible could.

And now I want to cut him back.

“You weren’t too rough,” I say. “You were fantastic. I’m pretty sure I’m ovulating right now so hopefully you got the job done.”

He freezes. His hands fall from my shoulders. “What are you talking about?”

With the threat of tears now banished, I turn and face him calmly. There’s confusion on his face, and some wariness. This is a new look for him. All the arrogant confidence is gone.

It takes a lot of effort to stretch my lips into a bitter smile. “I stopped taking birth control pills right after our honeymoon.”

He shakes his head. “No, you didn’t.”

“My father ordered me to produce an heir. I’m doing my job. You just keep doing yours and sooner or later it will take. Perhaps I’m pregnant right now.”

“Annalisa, what the fuck?” He’s never been so shocked and panicked. Nothing like the threat of unexpected fatherhood to shake the cockiness right out of a guy.

Naturally, I’m not telling the truth. Even if I’d been hoping to have Luca’s baby, I’d nevereverbe so deceitful and treacherous as to lie about birth control.

But Luca won’t realize this because Luca doesn’t know me well enough. He never bothered.

He’s pacing now, looking up every few seconds for some sign that I’m full of shit. All he receives in return is a placid stare.

I’m not sure how long I could keep the charade going. Maybe for days. Weeks. That would serve him right.

But I’m just not built that way.

“How does it feel?” I ask. “It’s no fun being on the receiving end, is it?”

Relief washes over his face as he realizes I was fucking with him just like he’d fucked with me. The relief quickly evaporates and he shakes his head in disgust.

“This is seriously fucked up. All of it.”

“No kidding. At this point I don’t know which of us is worse. Maybe we should just stop competing and agree that it’s a draw. We’re both the villains here. There is no happy ending.”

Our eyes meet. His are unrecognizable. All traces of charm and humor have been replaced with dark fury.

I wonder what he sees reflected back in mine.

Perhaps the same rage and mistrust. For once, our heads are in exactly the same place and it’s a place that’s both ugly and grim.

Luca keeps staring and I stare back at him.

There’s a particularly hideous vibe between us right now.

He decides there’s nothing else to say and grabs his keys. After shooting one final glare, he storms out of the room.

The door to the garage bangs shut. A moment later, he’s peeling out of the driveway and roaring down the street.

As the screaming of Luca’s tires fades, I feel a twinge of sorrow. Anger. And regret.

My first instinct is to call my sisters. But how do I explain the toxic state of my marriage to them? I know how it would sound. Daisy and Sabrina will only be worried and there’s nothing they can do to help.

Outside the window, a gale of wind picks up and rattles leafless tree branches.

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