Page 14 of Married With Malice

I’m definitely no saint.

When I was young and stupid, I didn’t know when to quit with the practical jokes. Getting her to turn red-faced and furious was too much fun. Yet I always hoped that someday she’d crack and do something outrageous, like laugh out loud.

This strategy has yet to work.

Annalisa was the first girl I ever knew personally who left me feeling a certain way when I was still exploring how my own dick functioned. She became my favorite adolescent fantasy.

However, even if she hadn’t always given me the kind of looks a person usually reserves for maggots, she was still Albie Barone’s daughter. Richie made sure that I knew when it came to the Barone girls, anything exciting was off limits. You don’t get freaky with a mafia princess unless you’re willing to lose your good health.

Annalisa’s brittle personality might have been my saving grace. Without it, I could have gotten myself in a whole lot of trouble.

The whole prom debacle, however, was unfortunate.

In my defense, it was a complete surprise to get selected as Annalisa’s prom date. I hadn’t even applied for the position and considering how well we got along, the idea made as much sense as ketchup on ice cream. But Albie and Richie cooked up the plan and Aunt Donna persuaded me to cooperate. She made it sound like Annalisa was just shy around boys and I could be her hero. All I had to do was escort her to her high school prom, show her a good time and behave like a gentleman.

Partial success achieved.

I showed up, rolled a corsage on Anni’s wrist and even posed for photos. With her long hair loose and her sexy body wrapped in a sparkly blue dress that I still think about to this day, she was by far the most striking girl in the room. I would have enjoyed the opportunity to stare at her a lot more but she preferred to act like I was a disease vector and kept disappearing. I accepted the loss and found more pleasant people to talk to.

All night long there was a lot of stealth drinking. And I faintly remember smoking something before I passed out in a beach house at the post-prom party. When I woke up, there were floppy tits in my face and my dick was being energetically sucked.

I barely knew the two girls who decided to host a circus on the bed, starring my body as the main attraction, but teenage hormones and alcohol have a way of interfering with good judgment. Clothes came off, things got even hotter and then the bedroom door flew open.

Annalisa Barone, doing her best Godzilla impression, stormed in making all kinds of noise and trampling everything in her path. I didn’t even get a chance to disentangle myself from the pile of naked limbs before she grabbed my clothes, ran outside and tossed them into the bonfire flames. She stood there, hands on her hips, her face aglow with satisfaction for having vanquished my tux on a funeral pyre.

Maybe she thought it wasmein there burning to a crisp. And I wasn’t exactly innocent, but seriously,who the fuck does that???

When a girl torches your clothes it’s kind of the point of no return, no matter how badly you want to see her naked. For years I steered clear of her. Now the best I can hope for is that she’s mellowed out since prom night.

So far, the signs haven’t been too promising.

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind of wedding planning. There was no engagement party, no wedding rehearsal. I’ve only seen Anni a couple of times. Whenever I enter her line of sight, the contempt in her eyes is impressive, like she believes she has the power to melt my face if she focuses hard enough.

There’s no getting out of the wedding at this point. I may as well choose optimism and try to look forward to the honeymoon. Her father arranged our Key West trip and we leave on his private plane just as soon as we’re finished with the reception.

Annalisa and I are both adults now. Just as I have good reasons for proceeding with this marriage charade, she must have reasons of her own.

Maybe she’ll tell me, maybe she won’t.

But since we both need to play along for now, we might as well have some fun in the meantime.

Besides, I happen to like a challenge. Charming the literal pants off frosty Annalisa is the most stimulating challenge I can think of. I’d take bets that pent up temper of hers can be put to good use. I’m setting a goal that by the end of our honeymoon she’ll be quivering underneath me and falling apart.

This plan is almost enough to bring a real smile to my face.

With three sharp knocks on the wooden door, all pleasant thoughts dissolve.

Monte Castelli’s head appears. “Ten minute warning.”

“Were you sent to fetch me?”

He shrugs. “I think your aunt is worried you’re getting too drunk to stand.”

“Not even close.” I spring out of my chair, adjust my tie and follow Monte into the hallway.

He and his brother Nico have rapidly become my two closest friends. They’re family boys. Their uncle, Vinny Tello, served Richie for decades and was one of his most trusted soldiers. Last year Vinny Tello caught a bullet in the neck while chasing down some scumbag who had double crossed Richie. Cale was there too, right beside Vinny when the life left his eyes.

Vinny’s death was the last straw for Cale. I could see it in his face at the funeral. Everything changed on that day. I told my uncle what it would take to get me on board.

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