Page 1 of Dark Embers

CHAPTER 1

Sabrina

Eight Months Ago

Elena’s screams rip me from sleep, the shrill sound blasting through the baby monitor beside my bed. My pulse slams against my ribs as I shove the covers off, my feet hitting the cold wooden floor before my mind fully catches up. The room is dark, save for the soft glow of the nightlight by the window, but the panic in Elena’s cries is unmistakable.

I don’t bother with a robe as I rush out, my heart in my throat. I push open the nursery door, finding her tiny frame shaking in the crib, her fists clenched around the soft blanket.

“It’s okay, baby, I’m here.” My voice wobbles as I scoop her up, cradling her against my chest. Her little body trembles, warm and damp from tears, but she burrows into me, clinging tight. I rub soothing circles on her back, whispering reassurances, though my own nerves are frayed. She is soaking wet. “Oh no, sweet girl. I’d be angry too if I had to sleep all wet like this.”

I put her on the changing table wondering where the fuck my sister is and why she snuck the baby monitor back into my room. I had it in my room the first night when Elena was born so Tara could get some sleep. But it had been in Tara’s room tonight so I could get some sleep. We were supposed to take it in turns. While I would gladly have looked after Elena each night, Sam had warned us that Tara needed to bond with Elena and it was important to do so in the first few days.

I hum softly as I change the darling little thing, making sure to wash her down with warm water and then make her smell all fresh. Once she is clean and I lift her up, I can’t help but notice that she is a little extra fussy.

“Are you okay, baby girl?” I feel her forehead but she feels okay. Her cheeks aren’t all rosy and she’s barely two days old, so she’s not teething. I may not know a lot about babies yet, but I do know they don't get teeth right away. “Maybe you’re just hungry? Let’s get you a bottle and then go look for my sister.” I glance out the window. It’s still dark out and that’s when I notice the clock on the wall. It’s just after midnight.

Placing Elena in her baby chair that Sam secured to the counter, something stirs inside me. A panic I can’t quite explain. It’s that feeling I get when I know something isn’t right. As I move to grab a bottle out of the sterilizer, my eyes drift to the refrigerator. Even from here, I see the note stuck under a large magnet in the shape of a blue whale, and my heart feels like it’s stopped for a few moments as my breath hitches in my throat.

It’s my sister's handwriting.

Elena gurgles as if she’s just noticed it too, which of course is absurd and coincidental but fitting for the moment. I force myself to walk toward it, dread settling in my gut, and even before I read it, I already know what it is going to say, and my heart plummets.

Dear Rina,

I’m sorry. I know you were hoping for a different outcome. But for me, there was never going to be one. I have to disappear. It's the only way I know how to keep Elena, you, and Mom safe.

Take care of my little girl. She’s yours now.

I am truly sorry to have to hang this heavy burden on your shoulders. But I know you will keep our secret safe.

I love you, little sister.

Tara

The ink is slightly smudged, as if she was crying when she wrote it. I feel the trickle of tears slide down my cheeks as I stare at the note, realization burning through my chest and heart—this time, my sister has really disappeared, and I have no idea when or if she’ll ever come back.

Elena starts to wail once again as if she can pick up on my heartache, unease, and fear. Her wail turns angrier, and I snap out of my daze, quickly making her formula.

Taking her from her chair, I press a kiss to her temple. “I’ve got you, baby. It’s just you and me now. But I’ve got you, and like I promised your mommy, I’ll make sure you're kept safe.”

As I settle in an armchair to feed Elena, I try to quell the rising panic trying to suffocate me as I’m overwhelmed with the fear of not knowing what the fuck I’m doing with a baby. I don’t know how to be a mother. Then fear is topped by the fear for my sister and not knowing where she’s going. Who’s going to be looking out for her? And the fear fueling it all is that I may not be able to keep my promise to Tara, as I’ve never had a very good poker face.

A little sigh from Elena draws my attention to her, snuggled into my chest, slurping down her bottle, and my heart swells with such love a few more tears roll down my cheeks. That’s when I know I’d do anything for this little girl, even if it means I’m racked with guilt for the rest of my life.

I also know what I have to do. It’s time. I grab my phone and dial my mother. It rings several times before she finally answers, her voice thick with sleep. “Rina?”

“Mom,” I choke out, putting just enough panic into my voice to sell the lie. “I’ve been trying to call you for two days.” I sniff loudly, holding Elena closer. “Luckily, there was a woman next door who helped me.”

“Helped you?” Mom sounds confused before realization dawns in her voice. “Oh my God, Rina… have you had your baby?”

“Yes,” I sob, which isn’t hard to fake because I’m already exhausted and overwhelmed. “I came for a quiet few days at Dad’s cabin. Then my water broke. I managed to call out for help and the woman next door came. She was a great help and as you know Sam was a doctor…” I babble at a pace that I know makes my mother’s head hurt but also keeps her off guard. “But now Sam and the woman are gone. I don’t know what to do. I just want to come home.”

“Oh, honey,” Mom says, her voice filled with concern. “Do you have your car?”

“No. I took a taxi here as I didn’t want to drive, being so heavily pregnant.”

“Do you want me to come fetch you Rina?” And just like that I have played my mother and it makes me feel sick to my stomach but I remind myself this is not for me—it’s for Elena and Tara.

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