Page 76 of Swept Away

She smiles slightly. “Oh yeah? And? Whatdoyou want from your life?”

I think about my last holiday: four days in Barcelona with Brady, Will and Emiliano. The big-picture stuff that holiday had been about relationships. Women. I’d brought up that I was looking forsomething serious, trying to work out how to find the one, and Emiliano had laughed at me.Who’d have you now?he’d said, slapping me on the arm.You hoping a good woman will make an honest man of you?

It had annoyed me. I’ve never been anything other than honest.

“I want to open my own restaurant,” I find myself saying. “Fresh food, different menu every day. I know it’s stupid, but the way we’ve been cooking out here, making do with whatever we’ve got, that’s my favorite way to work. I love the challenge, the way it takes the pressure off because you can only do what you can do…”

“Can I just ban the wordstupidonce and for all?”

I blink at Lexi as she settles back against the heap of pillows.

“Hey?”

“You said,I know it’s stupid. It’s not stupid. You’re a chef. What’s stupid about wanting to open your own restaurant one day? That’s a really reasonable ambition, Zeke.”

“Junior chef,” I say automatically. “But…yeah, I…”

I didn’t actually notice I’d used the wordstupidat all. I swallow back an instinctive apology and reach for her hand. I want to touch her all the time, but especially when she does this—when she looks at me in a way that makes me see myself differently.

“Thank you,” I say.

“Why do you think it feels stupid to you?”

“I guess I just feel like it’s unrealistic for someone like me.”

“Someone young, talented and driven…?”

I pull a quick face, dropping her hand. Nobody has ever called medriven. Talented in the kitchen, maybe. Talented in bed. But running a business like a restaurant…

“I’ve not got that sort of brain,” I say. “Like, I’m always…”

“What are you doing with your hands right now?”

“Showing you what my brain looks like,” I say, as I wave my arms around between us in a sort of whirly cloud of chaos.

Lexi tilts her head to the side. “This is your brain?”

“Imagine smoke from a fire, only it’s windy and it goes everywhere.”

“Sounds beautiful,” she says, holding my gaze.

“It’s messy. I wouldn’t be any good at running something. I can follow orders, but that’s about it.”

“I wish you’d see the Zeke I see,” she says, pulling her pillow closer, so our legs are touching. “I wish you’d see the person who’s keeping me alive.”

I think of that wet floor in the houseboat and try not to let the wince of fear show on my face.

“It’s weird,” she says, shifting to lean back on her hands, legs still touching mine. “Our lives are so different in so many ways, but…”

I like thisbut.

“But?”

“But I’ve always wanted to run a café.”

“No way,” I say, sitting up straighter. “Seriously?”

I suddenly feel horrified.

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