Page 116 of Swept Away

She’s on the other side of the studio, in the wings. She hasn’t spotted me yet—she’s looking out into the audience. She drops her hands to her stomach, smoothing down the fabric of her jumpsuit.

Seeing her reminds me of the moment on the houseboat when it began to rain after all those endless thirsty hours. I’ve been starving for her, and here she is, looking more beautiful than ever. Her hair is loose and wild, brightened to a new shade of blond, and her wide eyes are lined with thick lashes so that they pop even brighter. I’ve never seen her all made up like this, and she looks different, but she somehow still looks exactly like the Lexi from the boat, too. My Lexi.

For a second I think about running to her, even as the hosts ofMorning Cuppaburst into laughter over some news piece about dating apps. I could just storm right in front of them. Reach for her, tell her I promise I never knew about Mae, tell her I’m so sorry and I know I’ve hurt her, and if I could go back in time and fix it, I would, I’d be there for every step of the last four years and three months of that girl’s life, but—

There’s a warning hand on my shoulder. Two large security guards in black, with various things hanging off them that, on inspection, are walkie-talkies, but still give off the vague air of potentially being guns.

“You’re on in two minutes, Zeke, just hold back!” whispers someone new at my other elbow.

Lexi’s seen me now. Her eyes widen slightly. She looks…I don’t know. It’s harder to read her than it should be. We’re too far apart. We’ve so rarely stood at a distance like this, and never with all this noise around us, all these people…

“You OK?” says the stranger at my side. She’s got headphones half on, one ear in, one ear out, and her smile is too bright. “All good?”

I keep looking at Lexi. I try to tell her without saying it.I love you.I’m sorry. I love you so much.

“Now, we’ve been talking this morning about how tough it can be to date in the modern world,” says Delana, co-host ofMorning Cuppa.

She’s in a pink dress and slippers—wearing slippers is aMorning Cuppathing. I think there’re some waiting on the stage for me and Lexi. I stare at the tape marking the edges of the fake living room.

“So let’s talk about one of the strangest tales of recent times: the adventure dubbed ‘the twelve-night stand’ by the tabloids. The story of Lexi and Zeke, who had a one-night stand that just didn’t end! They spent twelve nights together on the houseboat they went back to after meeting for a drink at the pub and being swept out to sea. Talk about unusual, right? I mean, that’s one way to really get to know a guy!”

“Right?” Yusuf says, laughing. “It’s unconventional, for sure, but can a bonding experience like this really lead to true love? Should we all be jumping aboard with our crushes, and seeing if we can sail away into the sunset?”

Lexi and I haven’t stopped looking at each other. This scene happening between us, it all looks so small. These people don’t get it. They weren’t there. They think it was abonding experience. They think the boat made us what we are. Butwedid that, and we found each other inspiteof being lost out there, and suddenly I can’tfucking stand it, how they’re making this feel like a gimmick when it was the biggest thing that’s ever happened to me.

Lexi turns away. “I’m sorry,” I watch her say, and then she’s pushing between the gaggle of shadowy camera crew and producers.

“Now,” Delana says, blinking a little faster—someone’s talking in her ear. “We’ll be hearing from them very soon, but first, we want to hear from the audience! Wouldyouever live on a houseboat?”

I turn around and do the same as Lexi, shaking off the hands trying to snag at my arms.

“I’m sorry,” I tell someone, “but this is just not us.”

I find her outside on the lot, the wind blowing in her hair. She’s looking out at the traffic—it’s noisy here, though you can’t hear a single trace of road noise inside the studio. She’s braced, standing with her feet planted. I remember she stood that way even before we went to sea. Like she’s always been ready for waves underfoot.

“Hi,” she says, turning to look at me over her shoulder. “I think we just pissed a lot of people off.”

“Well, a lot of people just pissed me off.” I walk toward her. It’s as if there’s something pulling me—I couldn’t stay where I was if I tried. “So fair enough, I reckon.”

“It’s not their fault they don’t understand,” Lexi says, looking back out at the cars and lorries streaming by. “They’re only doing what people do. They just want a good story. It’s human nature.”

I come to stand beside her, then reach out to take her hand. She grasps mine, and that touch is enough to send sensation surging through me. Too many feelings to name, but I’d call the whole powerful mess of itlove, I guess: it’s too much to be anything else. I just love her. That’s all there is.

“Do you know?” she whispers, turning her head to look at me for a split second before glancing back to the road.

My heart hurts. “About Mae?”

I feel her stiffen and I hold her hand tighter.

“I didn’t know she evenexisted, Lexi, I—”

“I know.” She turns to me properly then, but her eyes are still downcast. “Penny told me on the way here. How did you figure it out?”

“Jeremy did what he does best.”

“Be condescending?” Lexi says, then pulls a face at herself. “Sorry, sorry, not my place. I kind of forget I’ve still not even met him. I feel like I know him just from all our conversations on the boat about your family.”

I laugh. “You’re not far off. But no, I meant puzzles. He worked it out from the dates, and how you disappeared off with Penny and Mae at the marina.” I swallow, sobering. “Did you think I’d lied to you? That I’d known all along and…”

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