Page 50 of The Wake-Up Call

If I was in any doubt about my feelings for this woman, then every triumphant hand she wins would clear it up for me, because it is agony letting her win at poker.Agony.

“You actually suck at this,” she says gleefully, claiming her chips (still raisins). “You got seriously lucky winning earlier, didn’t you?”

“Yes,” I say through gritted teeth. “It seems I did.”

“Shirt off, then,” she says, lifting her gaze to me as she deals the cards again. Her eyes are full of mischief.

Strip poker. I am either a genius or an idiot for suggesting this. On the one hand, it has definitely cheered her up, but on the other, I have just committed to fully undressing in a room with Izzy without so much as touching her. This feels like a particularly brutal form of self-torture.

I take my shirt off slowly, sitting up on the bedspread. She’s down to her blue strapless top and jeans, and I don’t plan on letting her get further than that. As much as I want to undress her, this isn’t how that’s going to happen. If I ever get to see Izzy naked, it won’t be about anything but us.

Her gaze shifts over me. I breathe out, trying not to tense too much. I like how it feels, just watching her watch me. Letting her take without trying to win anything back for once.

“What’s with all the muscle, then?” she asks, dealing the cards on the duvet between us.

I’m about to respond with something sharp—all the musclefeelsso dismissive. But I swallow it back. What she said about me raising my voice struck me hard, because that’s how discussions happen at my uncle’s house. Everyone is always snapping and shouting. I hadn’t realised quite how much of that I had absorbed.

“I get wound up sometimes. The gym is where I go to lose the heat.”

She gives me a quick grin. “You get wound up sometimes? Who knew!”

I’m glad to see that grin again. I check my cards—ace of diamonds, jack of diamonds.Ai, cara...

“I started exercising hard when I was a teenager.”

I swallow, wondering how much I can give her. Remembering Camila walking out of my flat saying I didn’t have a heart.

“It was about my dad, I think. The fear that I had some fatal disease inside me, too. It made me feel safer, knowing I was healthy and looking after my body.”

Her eyes widen. “I’m sorry, Lucas. That’s so horrible. I wish your mum had told you what happened to your dad.”

I shake my head. “She struggled to talk about it. It wasn’t her fault. Anyway, it made me realise how good exercise feels. How it helps you calm down. So—not all bad.”

“Hmm,” Izzy says, still frowning. “Fold,” she says, setting her cards down. “That was a rubbish hand.”

“What do you do to cool off when I’ve wound you up, then?” I ask her. “No, let me guess. You ring a friend and complain about me?”

She smiles slightly. “Yeah, sometimes. Or curl up with something wholesome on Netflix if I’m not seeing anyone. Remind myself that the world is full of warmth and fuzziness as well as grumpy Brazilians.”

I let her have that one. She deals the cards again. For a while we just play poker, only speaking when the game requires it. Ishould fill the silence, but I don’t quite know how to talk to her now. Too much has happened today. Everything feelsesquisito, as if someone’s knocked my life askew.

“Is this how it’s going to be now?” Izzy says eventually. “If I’d known all I had to do to make you go quiet was kiss you, then I’d have done it earlier.”

She looks down at her cards, letting her hair shield her face. I want to push it back and lift her chin. Tell her not to hide from me.

“I called you grumpy and you didn’t even snap at me,” she says, still looking down at her cards. “It’s weird.”

“It’s not the kiss,” I say. “I am trying to be less... short-tempered. After what you said about shouting.” I take another deep breath. “My uncle raises his voice a lot. I don’t want to be like that.”

Opening up like this feels as if I’m bending something the wrong way—it’s not natural. My body grows more and more tense with the effort. She watches me through her eyelashes, uncharacteristically still.

“He’s notbad,” I say. I suddenly feel a lot more naked than I did twenty seconds ago. “He’s just... forceful. He only respects strong people who stand up to him. He was a big part of my childhood, so I got strong.”

“And your mum?” Izzy asks quietly. “What’s she like?”

“She’s strong, too.” I smile. “But strong like you. She holds her own but still gives a lot to other people.”

Izzy swallows. I’ve surprised her, I can tell. Her eyes drop to my chest for a moment, gaze hovering over my tattoo, the single word just below my heart.

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