Page 28 of The Last Session

Mildly, he asked: “Did you recognize the people who picked her up?”

I turned and stormed past him.

“The-a.” He drew my name out, as if I were being unreasonable. I hurried on, holding my breath until I rounded the block and was out of sight.

15

She asked for you.

That night, I cranked open my laptop as if I had some kind of spy technology that would help me track Catherine down. According to Google, the day’s events hadn’t hit the wider world. Wouldn’t her parents want the public to know? And why had her disappearance four years ago been kept a secret? I looked up “Jonah” and “PI” and “NYC”: no relevant hits. But who was to say his name was even Jonah?

I glanced at the spot where he’d sat just the night before, my chest filling with unease.

Ding.Another Facebook message from Melissa, my junior high Judas.

Omg, so good to hear from you! About Adam: I KNOW, isn’t it nuts?? But don’t worry, he’s totally different now. We became friends in HS and started dating in college. Are you coming to the reunion? We’d love to see you!

I jumped up and hurried into my bedroom, throwing open the closet door. I methodically pulled out shoes and plastic tubs until I reached the cardboard box. I opened it slowly, reverently.

There were more journals than I remembered. Some were completely covered in stickers; others had their covers untouched. At the bottom was the diary from eighth grade, with that bright patchwork pattern and grinning cat face. I opened to a random page.

OMG!!!!! Pastor John told me he liked Stargirl too!!!! :) :) :) He watched it after I told him about it. And… HE TOLD ME I LOOK LIKE THE GIRL IN IT!!!! I was somehow able not to blush!! Because… well, she’s naked in parts of it! Including a scene where she’s lying in bed with the pharaoh—which is very UN-Christian for a pastor to watch! He said I wasless innocent than I looked if I was going around watching movies like that hahaha.

The memory of his office reared up in full color: the heavy wooden desk, the bookshelves full of dusty religious texts, the framed photo of his wife, toddler, and baby that I’d study when he left to get us sodas. He’d been in his mid- to late twenties, which seemed young now but had felt so old back then. It had all started when he’d asked me to stop by to talk about an essay I’d written for his religious studies class; he’d complimented it and acted like my thoughts about a particular Bible verse were incredibly interesting. No adult had ever given me this kind of attention before. Initially, the conversations had centered on Christianity but then shifted to personal: we spilled about our lives in a way that had felt decidedly equal. At some point, a subtle flirtiness had entered the room, proven by this entry, where he was teasing me about my innocence. I also remembered him grinning as he questioned why I didn’t have a boyfriend—and hinting that Adam must like me if he was messing with me.

Those many hours in his office had been a respite from the rest of school, from Adam’s taunts and Melissa’s growing absence. But now I could see them for what they were: an incredibly inappropriate relationship that he should never have started or cultivated. By the time he’d started complaining about his sex life with Jamie, it had felt natural, because he’d already stepped over the line.

I flipped through more pages, stopping on one with a list I vaguely remembered.

THINGS I’VE HEARD ADAM SAY TO GIRLS IN OUR GRADE (MOSTLY POPULAR ONES BUT NOT ALWAYS)

- Nice t*ts

- I’d like to f*ck you in the a$$

- You give great bl*wjobs don’t you?

THINGS I’VE SEEN ADAM DO

- stand behind Mrs. Iona and pretend to have s*x with her

- “accidentally” grab girls’ butts and boobs

- pretend he’s m*sturbating under his desk (with moans)

- pretend he’s unzipping his pants and is going to pull out his you-know-what

THINGS ADAM HAS SAID TO OR ABOUT ME

1. BEFORE PASTOR JOHN:

- The quiet ones are such freaks, right? (looking at me)

- Damn, Thea! You left claw marks on my back again

- Oh-oh-oh (pretending to be me having s*x)

2. AFTER PJ:

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