Page 113 of The Last Session

Sol climbed onto the bed, pushing down his boxer briefs. Moon slipped out of her underwear and straddled him. I watched, eyes wide with shock, as she leaned down to kiss him, her breasts just brushing his chest. He continued to touch her, and she moaned. She stroked his penis—larger than the flaccid version I’d seen in the hot tub would’ve suggested—and guided it inside her. They started moving together. She leaned back, tossing her hair, gazing down at him.

“Oh my god.” I glanced up at Jonah. He took another swig of wine, then bent to set it down. When he stood, he grabbed me and kissed me.

For a moment, the kiss blanked everything else out, even what was happening on the bed mere feet away from us. We pressed against each other, opening our mouths, letting each other in. His hands slipped down under my underwear, cupping my ass. One hand moved to the front. His touch was confident, strong, and I gasped at how good it felt. I palmed his erection straining against his pants.

“Thea.” We broke away from each other at Moon’s voice. She was still on top of Sol, holding a hand out to me. “Come join us. Both of you.”

Jonah grabbed my hand and moved towards them. I thought suddenly of the dream—the scary one that had woken me up this morning. Seeing Moon and Sol together, her beckoning me towards them.Déjà vu rattled as Sol reached out to cup my thigh. How did the dream go? Something about Pastor John and Jamie, and a cheap hotel room, and a whirlpool filled with teeth.

Moon pulled me in and kissed me. Her lips were softer than Jonah’s, her tongue more gentle. It felt so normal, so natural. And why not? Anyone would want to kiss Moon, who was so gorgeous, whose eroticism seeped from every pore.

She got off Sol and moved back so that we could all fit on the bed. On the silky sheets, hands caressed and mouths kissed, delicately at first and then harder: fingers grasping my hair, palms opening my legs, the pressure of Sol’s beard between my inner thighs.

This felt like a do-over, a chance to swipe the old memory of Pastor John and Jamie clear, to fill it with something new. This was therapeutic! I laughed into a mouth—Jonah’s mouth. Moon was teasing my nipples, running her tongue around them. She looked up at me, grinning, then slid up to kiss my earlobe.

“You’re so beautiful, Thea.”

I thought I was grasping Jonah, thick in my hand, but when I looked down it was Sol. He pulled Moon’s chin to him, kissing her. Such a jumble of body parts: arms, fingers, hair. I caught a glimpse of us in the window’s reflection: we looked like an undulating sea creature.

“Come here.” Moon was pulling at me. She grabbed condoms from the nightstand and tore one open, fitting it over Sol. I straddled him and then he was inside me, moving beneath me. I exhaled and leaned down and kissed him. Moon was behind me, caressing me, her fingers revolving. She was moaning too—being fucked by Jonah from behind, I saw with a quick glance—and the sounds and pressure and vetiver scent combined into a blur. I was in a trance, my brain empty, sensations taking me over like I was no longer human, just pure animal.

I was getting close, and the thought struck, sharp and illuminating as lightning: I was going to orgasm without the shed, without Adam, without the shame. And then my brain switched off again and I felt it coming towards me, that inevitable release racing ever closer.

Just before I came, something made me look at the door. It was slightly ajar, and in the split second before my eyes squeezed closed, before I cried out, I saw it in the dark space: a single, staring green eye.

45

I woke in my yurt, my phone pressing into my hip.

My head was on fire. I moaned, touching my temples. Wine. Whiskey. All going down like water. All leading to…

Oh my god. I curled up in a ball as the images rained down on me. I’d had a drunken foursome with Moon, Sol, and Jonah. Hadn’t I? For a moment I considered that it might’ve been a particularly vivid dream. But then I shifted and felt the telltale soreness between my legs.

Shit. I was not one of those girls. I was not sexually adventurous: hooking up in public, in bar bathrooms, on Ferris wheels. Going to sex parties, which Dom had told me about with relish. Even embarking on one-night stands. There’d been a handful during and since college, and that was it.

So what had happened last night? Had Moon and Sol drugged me?

No. I knew they hadn’t. I had no one to blame but that part of me that hungered, that wanted to be out of control,selfisheven—instead of always helping everyone else.

Add that to the erotic energy that ran beneath the surface here. I’d seen it that first night when Moon had pulled off her dress. The nudity, the touching, Sol making sure I knew he and Moon were open… had it all been intentional? Had they been grooming me for this? Or was it just their thing, and I was so lonely and horny that I’d allowed myself to be swept up into it?

I didn’t remember coming back to the yurt. I was in my crinkled underwear and a T-shirt—THE RA RAS. Sol’s shirt. Along with anxiety and regret, the hangover was making my head pound so badly I could barely think. It felt like someone had sliced out a chunk of my brain with an ice cream scoop.

And yet, underneath it… there came a flutter of something electric. Because as shocking as the experience had been, Ihadlet myselfgo. I’d done things I never would’ve expected myself to do. There had been something primal about our bodies coming together.

I shifted, digging out my phone.

And then I remembered.

I stared with horror at the blank screen; it had run out of battery and turned itself off. I hadn’t woken up at four as planned. I hadn’t left with Catherine and Jonah.

Fuck!

Catherine had been there last night—now I remembered the flash of her eye in the doorway. When I’d looked again, she’d disappeared. What had she been thinking? She had to be alarmed that I was entangled with these people I was trying to protect her from. Goddamnit. I never would’ve done any of that sober.

Tears of frustration filled my eyes. I tried to sit up—I needed to talk to Catherine—but sank back down to my pillow and moaned. It was too painful.

Had Moon and Sol somehow known about our plan? It didn’t make sense, not unless Catherine had told them. And after all, they hadn’t known my phone would die. No, this time the culpability lay firmly with me.

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