Page 58 of The Last Session

“And what do you do when you get angry?”

Jonah paused. “I used to throw things. Punch things. People, sometimes. I don’t anymore.”

“You figured out how to hold all that anger in.” Sol crossed his arms. “How do you treat people romantically?”

“It depends.” Jonah shoved his hands in his pockets. “Sometimes I really like someone but it burns out quickly. A few times I’ve met someone that feels like the perfect fit, and I do everything I can to keep them. But… you know, it doesn’t last.”

“Good.” Sol leaned towards Karen. “Who is he reminding you of?”

“My father,” she said quietly.

“Okay.” Sol clapped. “Thanks for confirming. I’m assuming your father had more power in the household; is that right?”

She nodded.

“Often we pattern ourselves after the parent in charge.” Sol rested his hand on Jonah’s shoulder. “Tell me more about Dad.”

“Well, he was really charming,” Karen said. “And everyone in town loved him. People knew he could be a little hotheaded, but no one knew the extent of it.” She sniffed. “They didn’t know he beat my mother. Once he broke her arm. He’d beat on my two older brothers too. But I was the youngest, and if I hid he wouldn’t look too hard for me. So that made me feel guilty.”

Sol nodded. “So there was violence. Chaos. Inside this popular, handsome man.”

“Exactly. Not that I think you would do anything like that, Jonah.”

“Tell me this.” Sol stopped in front of her. “What did you learn from him? What traits does it take to have power in this world?”

“Well.” She gestured. “Like we said, I disconnect from my feelings. But I’m not sure what else. I don’t think I’m angry.”

“Oh, you’re fuckingfurious.” Sol raised his voice. “I can feel the rage vibrating within you. It’s very deep down. But why do you think you go after these passive men? It’s because you get a certain pleasure out offlattening them. Men who beg you to let them pay for a trip after you discard them. How powerful does that feel?”

Karen stared at Sol, dazed. Finally, she nodded. “Maybe you’re right. I never thought of it like that.”

“We do everything for a reason.” Sol turned back to us. “It may not make sense to other people, but we all follow an inner logic. It’s hard for women to show anger in our society, isn’t it? So they have to get creative—how to expel anger in sanctioned ways. How to punish men.”

“Come on,” Mikki murmured next to me. I was reminded, suddenly, of what Ace had said back in art therapy.Because men are physically stronger, y’all have come up with your own weapons. Mental ones.Was Sol peddling the same misogyny?

“Here’s the problem.” Sol stood behind Jonah, grasping his upper arms. “This is the lover you really want: strong, all-powerful. Someone to tell you what to do. But you know how toxic and smothering that would feel. If you pick men of the opposite temperament, you get to keep those traits for yourself. In a sense, you’vebecomeyour ghost lover.”

“Oh god.” Karen bent over, covering her face. Moon’s drumbeat picked up, becoming louder, more insistent.

“No, Karen.” Sol pulled at her arm. “Tap into that power!”

She stood, her face red and wet.

“What do you want to say to your father?” Sol gestured at Jonah.

“He’s dead,” she choked out.

“Good! That means he’s here, in spirit, with us right now.”

Goose bumps pimpled my arms.

“I can’t speak ill of the dead.” Karen wrenched her head back and forth.

“He’s not dead!” Sol cried, his voice filling the tent. “Karen, I just said he’s here with us right now. What’s his name?”

“Oscar.”

“Oscar!” Sol pushed Jonah back and he stumbled, looking surprised. “What thefuckis your problem, man?”

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