Page 46 of The Last Session

Another question: When were we going to start “the sessions,” and what exactly would they entail? My chest squeezed with anxiety as I plopped on the bed. I picked up my diary and flipped through it, noting the rounded letters amongst an abundance of drawn flowers, hearts, and smiley faces. I stopped and read from a random page.

I am SOOO mad I’m shaking. Melissa is acting like such a b-word!!! We were supposed to have a sleepover this weekend and watch Stargirl and I was really looking forward to it. Adam and his idiot friends have been really mean this week. And then on FRIDAY MORNING she tells me that she has to go to a family thing and can’t do the sleepover anymore. And then… I overhear in the bathroom that ASHLEY’S having a sleepover that night. Guess who’s going. My BFF. Right.

I had no memory of that, but it didn’t surprise me. Melissa and queen bee Ashley had started hanging out during basketball camp the summer before eighth grade. Throughout that next year, Melissa had slowly but surely moved into the cool girls’ orbit. But not all at once. Maybe that’s what had made it so painful—sometimes she’d act like everything was normal between us.

I turned to another page.

I had an AWESOME dream last night about Sebastian Smith. He was in my class and we were assigned to do a project together and he was always coming over. We liked each other and even snuggled under a blanket once (with our clothes on of course!!). Then we were walking through school holding hands and Mike was joking and singing “Sebastian and Thea are getting married!” It was SUCH a great dream!!!

I thought back to the podcast where Moon had been talking about her crush, how her aloneness had led to its intensity.I think a lot of young girls in particular are told that all we need is our prince to feel better.

“Thea… coming?” Mikki called from outside my door.

“Yeah.” I set down the diary, feeling disoriented, like I’d been ripped out of another world. I grabbed a jean jacket; the temperature was dropping with the sun. “Be right there.”

The dining room was lined in wooden panels, the one respite from the mosaics covering the rest of the castle’s walls. The high-ceilinged room featured a giant stone fireplace and a long wooden table set with a rainbow of ceramic plates. Two large chandeliers made of colorful glass parrots cast a warm light. Tantalizing smells emanated from the kitchen: roasted vegetables and clove and cardamom.

“That smellssogood,” Mikki muttered. She’d changed into a long black dress and slicked on lipstick. I locked eyes with Jonah, who sat between Dawne and Ramit. He looked away, nodding at something Dawne was saying. I squared my shoulders and followed Mikki to the table as she settled across from them.

“Hi, girls!” Dawne beamed. She’d also dressed up, with smoky eye makeup and a pleather blazer. “Ready to meet our gurus?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” Mikki poured us glasses of water from a pitcher.

Ramit raised a hand to greet us, his eyes darting down to the table. He seemed a little nerdy, a little shy. I knew how he felt.

“So it’s just the six of us?” Mikki asked. She pointed and named everyone. “Ramit, Jonah, Dawne, Thea, me, and… where’s Karen?”

“I’m here!” Karen flew into the open chair next to Mikki. “Hi, all.” She shrugged off her fleece, revealing a T-shirt that saidI’M A KNITTER NOT A QUITTER.

“All right.” Mikki leaned back in her seat. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

As if summoned, Grace strode in. “Hi, guys!” She paused at the empty seat at the head of the table, then smoothed back her neon orange hair. Beads of sweat lined her upper lip. “Food’s almost ready, so I wanted to share a few announcements. First, we’re a substance-free retreat. So no drugs or alcohol, and if you’re found using anything, we have to ask you to leave. It’s on the website, but if you missed it and brought something, just put it away. We need everyone to be totally clearheaded as we do this deep work.”

I guess I hadn’t been expecting copious cocktails, but… nothing whatsoever? Nowine?

“And now.” Grace grinned. “It’s time to introduce you to the people you came to see.” She gestured to the door. “Please welcome… Moon and Sol!”

But only one person strolled into the space: Sol. He was more attractive than the pictures had suggested, or maybe it was his energy—confident, calm. He was tall and rangy with a yoga body, shaggy blond hair, a trim beard, and bright blue eyes. His grin dug furrows on either side of his mouth, his eyes crinkling.

He also looked slightly familiar. Who did he remind me of?

The room hushed with expectation.

“Hello.” Sol grasped the back of the chair at the head of the table. A silver wedding ring glinted. “How’s everyone doing today?”

The smooth, drawling voice from the podcast—it was strange to hear it coming from a live human being.

We muttered backhis andhellos.

He held up an invisible mic to his face and cried: “Isaid: How’s everyone doing today?”

“Great!” Dawne and Karen both shouted, and everyone laughed.

“Good, good.” He chuckled, looking down for a moment. “Ohh, that’s obnoxious, isn’t it? You guys like my motivational speaker impersonation?”

Dawne clapped, grinning widely, and Mikki gave a joking fist pump.

“Well, let me just say: welcome to the Center.” He leaned down, casuallyresting his arms on the back of the chair. His expression became serious, and without the scaffolding of a big smile, he looked older. “I want to first acknowledge the land we’re on: the unceded territory of the Mescalero Apache. As a white man it’s important to me that we remember the devastation that our forefathers have wrought. Let’s have a moment of silence.” He dipped his head. Everyone else looked down, though I caught Mikki studying him. She appeared to be the only woman of color here.

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