Page 13 of Covert Past

She couldn’t tell him . . . could she? She hadn’t shared herugly past with anyone. If she spoke the words aloud, would he condemn her?

“It’s best that you don’t know. You can’t help me.”

He stepped closer. “Try me. I won’t judge you, I promise. I’ve done some awful things during my time with the CIA. Things I can’t take back. I’ve killed.”

Ellie flinched at the declaration, giving too much away. She balled her hands into fists. The truth was on the tip of her tongue. Could she say the words? Was it possible there might be a light at the end of this dark tunnel she’d been traveling down for so long?

“You were once intelligence, correct?”

Her expression froze in place, her breathing labored.

“Not CIA or any of the US intelligence agencies. I checked.”

“You had no right.” The protest came out half-hearted. There would be no record he could find of her time with Mossad. No information on her crimes.

He shrugged. “You’re right. I didn’t do it for any other reason except to help you. I’ve been where you are. Where it feels as if you’re all alone.”

Tears were close, and she fought them back. “I am alone. I’ve lost everything.” The words slipped out before she could stop them. What was wrong with her? What was it about Boone that broke through her defenses?

“Someone you loved died?”

She crumpled to the closest chair and covered her face as the tears she’d fought so hard to hold back refused to be denied.

One sob escaped, followed by another, until she was crying in earnest. The first time she’d actually allowed herself to shed tears since that night.

Boone knelt beside her and gently gathered her close. Ellie tensed, half expecting pain, rejecting the human contact that she’d craved for so long. When the pain didn’t come, she leaned into his embrace and allowed herself to be human for once.

Chapter Six

“It’s going to be okay,” he whispered while she continued to cry. The pig settled at her feet seemingly making up its mind about Ellie like Boone had. She was a good person—he’d sensed that about her from the beginning. But her story was going to be dark, he could almost feel it. He’d told her he could help. But what if he couldn’t? What if Ellie was beyond his help?

Please, God, give me the words and the wisdom to help her.

She sat up straighter and wiped her hands over her eyes. He let her go and rose. Ellie needed a minute to compose herself before facing him.

“I’m sorry. I don’t usually fall apart.” Her attention fell on the pig. She petted the animal.

“I think that pig likes you.” Boone was rewarded with a watery smile.

“Want some coffee?” she asked and stood abruptly. She didn’t wait for him to answer before heading to the kitchen, the piglet running after her like a shadow.

“Coffee would be nice.” Coffee was the last thing he needed but if she wanted it so did he. “You know you’re going to have to name that pig.” He wanted to lighten the moment and was happy when she laughed.

“You’re right. Any thoughts?” Ellie went about making coffee while he considered the white female pig with dark spots.

He had no idea how to name a pig. Back home they’d had a group of sled dogs that were named, but the dogs were workinganimals and not pets. He hadn’t really had a pet his entire life. Kind of sad to think about.

“Dottie?” he finally said.

Ellie stopped pouring water into the coffeemaker and considered the pig. “Dottie. I like it.” The smile she gave him transformed her worried expression and confirmed his first impression of her. Ellie was strikingly beautiful.

The thought hit him like a blow. He hadn’t thought about a woman in such a way since Victoria. They’d dated during his time in the Navy. He’d thought once he was done with his tour with the SEALs and came back to civilian life he’d marry her. When word reached him that she’d died in a car accident, Boone had been devastated. He understood the loss Ellie went through because he'd been there himself.

“What was his name?” he asked when she handed him coffee.

She didn’t answer right away. Ellie poured herself a cup and then added creamer and rock sugar. When she offered the creamer and sugar to him, he shook his head.

She indicated the table as she pulled out a chair and sat.

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