Page 66 of Rewind

“Yes, well, I was madly in love with your father. He was two years ahead of me, but we were inseparable. When it came time for him to graduate, he decided to stay in the US to go to graduate school. We moved in together and we both continued school. But then I got pregnant and that’s when everything fell apart. He said he would stand by me but he needed to go back to Korea and sort it out with his family.”

“He never came back…at least that’s what I told you.”

Ethan froze. “What do you mean?”

“When you were around two, he found us. I was working two jobs to support us and by then my heart was mostly healed from what he’d done but seeing him again opened up those old wounds. He said he wanted to see you because afterward he was going back home to get married to a woman his family deemed more suitable. I was so hurt and bitter that I refused to allowhim to see you. But even still, I took money he offered to help out with you. It was enough to allow me to quit one of my jobs and continue school part time. I never saw him again after that but he would send letters to me on your birthday. I suspect he wanted me to give them to you but I never read them.”

“Did you throw them away?”

“No. I kept them. I have them in a box in my attic.”

“So, my father wasn’t ignoring me all this time?”

“I wouldn’t exactly say that. He didn’t make a whole lot of effort beyond the funds he gave me when you were younger and those letters. I know when you went to Korea, he refused to see you, but the more that I think about it, that isn’t the case. He’s surrounded by people who shield him from the outside world. There’s a possibility that he may not know you tried to get in contact with him. So…there’s one more thing.”

“There’s more?” Ethan asked incredulously, unable to believe his mother had been lying to him all this time. He wanted to be angry but he wasn’t sure of what emotion to go with in that moment.

“Yes, shortly after you graduated high school, I received a personal letter from Mr. Park In-woo, your father’s secretary. He said if I ever needed anything I could contact him personally and he gave me his card. I know you wanted to get in contact with your father and I’ve been holding on to the means to talk to him all this time.”

“I’m sorry for what I’ve done. I told myself that I was protecting you. But instead, I was protecting me. You would think after all this time I would be over what he did. I don’t think I have the right to ask your forgiveness, but please know, I thought I was doing the right thing.”

Ethan didn’t know what to say. He wanted to offer his mother words of comfort to let her know that he still loved her no matter what but the words wouldn’t come.

“Ethan, please say something.”

“I’m not sure what to say. Eomma, I think I need to go but I promise I’ll call you later this week.”

“You hate me now, don’t you?” Her voice was shaky, and she sounded as if she was on the verge of tears.

“Of course not, Eomma. I love you. And I mean that. I just need some time to process all this.”

“You promise you don’t hate me?”

“I promise.”

“And you’ll call me?”

“Of course I will. I’m hanging up now. Goodnight.” He clicked off before she could respond.

Ethan walked to the kitchen table and collapsed onto the closest chair. He rested his head in his hands.

He understood why his mother felt the need to keep the information about his father away from him but she knew Ethan had been looking for him. She could have given him Mr. Park’s information and he would have perhaps been able to meet his father when he’d gone to Korea.

She’d allowed him to get his hopes up and said nothing when he’d been crushed. He’d forgive her eventually, but the hurt of her betrayal was raw.

“Ethan, are you okay? What’s the matter? Does your head hurt?” Amina asked entering the kitchen in nothing but a towel.

He’d forgotten about the stupid knot forming on his head.

He raised his head, his eyes stinging with tears.

“Baby, what’s the matter?” she asked.

Ethan pulled her close to him and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Just hold me.” He buried his face against her body and broke down.

Chapter

Twenty-Three

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