Page 32 of Rewind

He cupped her face between his palms. “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are perfect just the way you are.”

A tear slid down her cheek. “No one other than my grandmother has told me that.”

He wiped her tear away with the pad of his thumb. “Well, your grandmother was right.”

Ethan became aware of the stickiness between his thighs. “Shit.” He groaned.

“What? What’s the matter?”

“I just realized we didn’t use protection. Fuck, Amina, I got so carried away that…I can assure you that I’ve had a full panel of STI tests performed on me since my last partner and that’s been quite a while but if by any chance there are any other consequences, I’ll take responsibility.”

A small smile curved her lips. “That’s really sweet of you, Ethan, but I’m fine as far any pregnancy scares. Mark insisted that I get on some form of birth control because it’s the woman’s responsibility to take care of her own body.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? What a tool. It’s both partners’ responsibilities. How did you put up with that jackass for so long?”

Amina lowered her head and remained silent.

Ethan wanted to slice out his own tongue for speaking so callously. “I’m sorry. That came out wrong.”

“It’s okay. The truth is, I’ve been unwanted most of my life. I never met my father because his relationship with my motherwas a casual fling, or at least that was my understanding. By the time I came along he was enlisted in the military and ended up dying shortly afterwards in some freak accident. Something about friendly fire was mentioned.”

“My mom abandoned me because she wasn’t ready to be a mother, so my aunt took me in. I later found out she only did it because she got a check from the state for taking care of me. I was never treated like a valued family member.”

“Despite getting a check to take care of me, I never got any new clothes for school, just my cousin’s hand-me-downs. When she took her children out to eat, I was left home, and I was only allowed to make myself peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I never got to try any of the fun snacks she bought for my cousins. I remember…” She broke off with a cry.

Ethan wrapped his arms around her. “Sweetheart you don’t have to keep going. It’s okay.”

She shook her head as tears glistened in her eyes. “No. I want to say this. I haven’t shared any of this with anyone except my grandmother and even she never knew the extent of all that had gone on in my aunt’s house.”

“My cousins gave me a hard time and would blame everything on me, and I’d get in trouble for them. I never got a single Christmas present from my aunt because she told me the gift was a roof over my head. I’d watch my cousins open their expensive presents and I pretended to be happy for them but it hurt. I’d cook and clean while no one lifted a finger to help.”

“I’m sorry you went through that.” The more Ethan heard about Amina’s past, the angrier he became. How could someone treat another human like that, especially a relative?

“Thankfully, my grandmother found me. Apparently, my mother had let my father know she was pregnant with me, and he’d told his mom. He’d planned on coming to get me but he died. It took a while for my grandmother to find me and whenshe did, she wanted me right away, but my aunt insisted I was well cared for, so grandma backed off for a bit. But she’d often visit with gifts and my aunt would put on a great show that everything was perfect.”

“And then what happened?”

“Grandma kept in contact with me and give me gifts, but every gift I received from her, my aunt would take from me and give them to her own children. My aunt would tell me that she would hurt me if I told my grandmother what was happening. I think one day, I muttered something under my breath and I can’t remember what it was I said but it set my Aunt Sharon off. She punched me right in the face.”

“That’s awful.”

Amina shrugged. “She’s done worse. Anyway, I got a black eye and she made me stay home from school. But around that time, my grandmother wanted to come by my school and surprise me. When I wasn’t there, she went to my aunt’s house. I was home alone and she saw my eye. I didn’t want to tell her what happened at first because I was scared of what my aunt would do to me.”

“Eventually, grandma got the whole story out of me. She took me down to the police station and filed a police report and contacted CPS. It started a long custody fight with my aunt. I think Aunt Sharon only fought at first because she didn’t want to lose the check. But eventually my grandmother gained custody and I lived with her up until she died.”

“I miss her so much that there’s not a day that goes by when I don’t think about her. I think that’s probably why I clung to my relationship with Mark so tightly. He filled a void at the time and I believed myself to be in love with him. He was great at first and then he wasn’t. Not only was he unfaithful, he was emotionally, physically and financially abusive. He even cheated on me with my cousin Candace.”

Ethan’s grip tightened on Amina briefly as he remembered what happened in the previous timeline. “Those two were together at your wake. It was clear they were closer than was proper for grieving relatives.”

“Figures. Funny thing is, Candace, wasn’t really into him. She used him when she was on the outs with her drug dealer boyfriend. And Mark was fascinated with her because she was the forbidden bad girl he knew his parents would never approve of.”

“Well, you never have to worry about being around him or her in any capacity again. I’ll protect you.”

Her body shivered and tears now streamed freely down her face.

“Amina, what’s the matter?”

“I want to believe you Ethan, but I’ve been let down so many times, I’m scared to trust you. Even my grandmother left me. Granted she died, but it doesn’t change the fact that she’s not here.”

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