Page 23 of Angelo

"But, unlike him, I've seen you at your best, and you're far more formidable than you think," she disputed in earnest, holding his gaze. "You outsmarted your brothers, your men respect you so much that they wouldn't hesitate to take a bullet for you, and you've married a wife who'd run into an inferno just so you won't have to burn alone."

Uncertainty flickered through brown and blue-gray eyes. His thumb caressed the ring on her finger. “Have I married such a woman? I do not feel like I deserve her.”

“She's the one who's lucky to have you,” Elyse quipped back, “so don’t focus on the fuck ups, Alessio. Concentrate on what can be fixed, and fulfill your promise to me.Turn this hell into paradise and give me a life that even angels will envy."

Her words seemed to unlock something in him. Intently, Alessandro looked at Elyse as though hearing her for the first time since Vincenzo's death. In a low voice, he began with a sigh, "You know…”

“Yes?”

“For the past twenty-four hours, people have been relentless. They give condolence after condolence and expect me to be in mourning. I assure you, though, I am not grieving at all. I was not lying when I said that—I feel fine. In fact, I feel nothing.”

Nothing at all?

“I don’t know whether to be relieved,” she grumbled, “ormoreworried about you.”

Alessandro assured her, “You may rest easy, wife.I have never felt better.Death is nothing new. Ever since I can remember, it has defined me. My mother and brothers were killed because they craved something that fate refused to give them. Many men, including my brothers, wanted me dead. I have burned men alive and blown out their brains. I listened to their final breaths and watched the light fade from their eyes. You see, after a while, death no longer feels as fucked up as it should.”

Dios, the life her husband had lived was appalling yet heartbreaking. But she caught his drift. After experiencing so much violence and tragedy, a man simply became numb. Not much fazed him at this point. “You know, as a kid, I used to think that being strong meant screaming and kicking until the world changedfor you. But, now, I realize that strength is very quiet at times. It allows us to accept whatever comes our way—in all its fucked up glory—and face it without flinching."

"Whatever does not kill us, makes us stronger,no?” he murmured, eyeing her closely. “Everyone has to die. I learned to accept it early on. Acceptance takes away the fear, I think."

"It sounds like you're not afraid of anything, then."

He fell silent for a moment before revealing, "There was a time when I feared nothing. For years, I wasuntouchable. I felt invincible when I had nothing to lose.”

Past tense? Elyse pointed out softly. “You no longer feel this way?”

Alessandro nodded. Amusement tugged at the corner of his mouth, but there was genuine distress in his eyes when he revealed, “Now I am terrified of making the wrong move."

"Why are you afraid?"

With a stark expression, his jaw clenched. "Because of you.”

Her mouth parted in surprise. “Me?”

“I cannot lose you, Elyse,” Alessandro confessed quietly. “You are my everything. Every mistake I make puts your life at risk."

The raw despair in his voice was undeniable. It was the first time she'd witnessed such naked vulnerability reflected in Alessandro. She could feel her husband's anguish seeping into the air. Yet, it didn't faze her. If anything, she felt compelled to stay strong for him. Green eyes turned to steel. "You can't give in to fear. I won't let you. Not now. Not ever. Even if we die, then we die together. Even in death, you won’t lose me, Alessio."

Alessandro protested with a glare, "I do not care what happens to me.Fuck me.But you?You are not allowed to die. You must live and hold me to my promise. I intend to give you a paradise worthy of angels."

As much as Elyse wanted to hold Alessandro to it, she couldn't help but think of Renata's efforts to outplay the mafia. The woman ended up murdered by her own family. Softly, she urged him, "Don't worry about me, okay? You can't control fate. All we can do is hope for the best and plan for the worst."

"I will give you paradise," he vowed, "no matter what."

Her heart brimmed with longing.She wished to give him paradise, too.But no life was invincible, blood wasn't thicker than water, and God didn't play favorites. Not in the mafia, anyway. Elyse realized she, too, needed to accept thatdeath could come for them at any time and then move the fuck on because there was too much at stake. She didn't have time to be paralyzed by thewhat ifsandGod forbids.

Come what may, the future wasn’t theirs to command. This lack of certainty was frightening. Yet, it was also unexpectedly… liberating? It freed her mind to scheme in ways that would’ve felt too ruthless not long ago. Before, Elyse had been clinging to the good within while she strove to outmaneuver her husband's enemies, but the playing field had tilted yet again, and, it seemed, Aberto might wield the upper hand. She was ready to play dirty, too.

Aside from her grandfather, Aberto was the only one who knew about their plans to set the Berlusconis against the Morettis. Not even the Svizzis had been brought fully up to speed yet. She suspected that Aberto and maybe even Mariposa had been scheming to use Alessandro for quite some time now.

A scowl strained Elyse's mouth as she mulled over Aberto. She couldn't stop obsessing over one glaring detail. There'd been a list of notable names on Renata's memory card. But those men were all gone. Aberto was the only one left. Was this coincidence? Or a series of perfectly executed murders?

Her gazed locked on to Alessandro, demanding to know, "What kind of man is Aberto?"

He sighed. "A very competent one, unfortunately. He would have been valuable to our cause. Losing him will hurt us in the long run."

"Does he tend to be heavy-handed when it comes to dealing with enemies?"

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