Page 55 of An Unexpected Love

“I didn’t think you had.”

The previous afternoon, Jill had been so lonely that she’d reached for the phone, planning to call Ralph toinvite him to a movie. She’d nearly dialed his number before she remembered she was married. The incident had had a profound effect on her. She didn’tfeelmarried. She felt abandoned. Forgotten. Unimportant. If she was going to live her life alone, she could accept that. But she wasn’t interested in a one-sided marriage.

This time apart would help her gain perspective, show her what she needed to do. Explaining it to Jordan was impossible. But in time, a week perhaps, she might be able to tell him all that was in her heart.

“What was it you said last night?” Jordan wanted to know, clearly confused.

Jill neatly folded a silk blouse and put it in the suitcase. “I told you how I almost called Ralph to ask him if he wanted to see a movie…and you laughed. Remember? You found it humorous that your wife had forgotten she was a married woman. You didn’t bother to understand what had led me to the point of wanting to call an old boyfriend.”

“You’re not making any sense.”

“No, I suppose not. I’m sorry, Jordan. I wish I could explain it better. But as I already told you, I need more from our relationship than you can give me…”

“I’ve said this project would be settled soon. I’ll grant you it’s taking longer than I thought, but if you’d just be patient for a little while… Is that so much to ask? You’d think…” He hesitated, then jammed his hands in his pockets and marched across the room. “These past few weeks haven’t been a picnic for me, either. You’d think a wife would be willing to lend her husband some support, instead of using threats to bully him into doing whatshewants.”

It didn’t surprise Jill that Jordan assumed her leavingwas merely a ploy. He didn’t realize how serious she was.

“I can’t live like this. I just can’t!” she cried. “Not now, not ever. I want my children to know their father! My own was a shadow who passed through my life, and I couldn’t bear my children to suffer what I did.”

“This is a fine time for you to figure it all out,” Jordan growled, his hold on his frustration and anger obviously precarious.

“If I could go back and change everything, I would… I would.” Hurrying now, she closed her suitcases.

“Are you pregnant?” The question came at her like a bolt of lightning.

“No.”

“You’re sure?”

“Of course.”

A moment of silence followed as she collected her purse and a sweater.

“Nothing I can say is going to change your mind, is it?”

“No.” She took the handles of the two suitcases and pulled them off the bed. “If…if there’s any reason you need to get hold of me, I’ll be at my mother’s.”

Jordan stood there unmoving, his back toward her. “If you’re so set on leaving,” he said, “then just go.”

* * *

“Jill, sweetheart.” Her mother knocked lightly, then walked into the darkening bedroom. Jill sat on the padded window seat, her knees tucked under her chin, staring out the bay window to the oak-lined street below. Often as a child she’d sat there and reflected on her problems. But now her problems couldn’t be workedout by staring out her bedroom window or by pounding on a piano for an hour or two.

“How are you feeling?”

“Fine.” She wasn’t ready to talk yet.

“I’ve made dinner,” Elaine said, her voice sympathetic. There was a radiance about her these days. Andrew Howard had called almost daily since Jill had been living with her mother, although he didn’t know about her separation from Jordan. Jill had sworn her mother to secrecy. The last Jill had heard, Andrew planned to fly to the mainland early the next month so he and Elaine could spend some time together. Jill was delighted for her mother and for Andrew. Her own situation, though, was bleak.

“Thanks, Mom, but I’m not hungry.”

Her mother didn’t argue, but sat on the edge of the cushion and leaned forward to hug Jill. The unexpected display of affection moved Jill to tears.

“You haven’t eaten anything to speak of all week.”

“I’m fine, Mom.” Jill didn’t want her mother fussing over her just now, and she was grateful when Elaine seemed to realize it. Elaine lovingly stroked Jill’s hair, then got to her feet.

“If you need me…”

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