Page 62 of The ABCs of You & Me

The timer on my desk goes off, letting me know I have five minutes before I need to pick up a student for a meeting.

“I’ve gotta go, Maya. Thanks for the chat.” I can hear her say my name as I end the call. I’ll apologize later.

It’s hard to be in this line of work while coming to terms with how I allowed Gregory to treat me.No, I scold myself.You allowed nothing. He used everything in his arsenal to always turn things on me and he did it so gradually, so fucking effectively that I didn’t see it happening.

“Do you feel angry right now?”

“No,” Lily, a grade three student I’ve been meeting with regularly, huffs.

“How do you feel right now?”

“Tired.” I can see that. I’ve never seen a kid with bags that rival a first-year medical resident.

“Are you having trouble sleeping?”

She glares at me. She says she’s not angry, but her body language is screaming at me right now. I can see the rage simmering below the surface.

“No.” Her tone is defensive.

“It’s not your fault if you’re not sleeping, Lily.” I try to comfort her.

“My mom says I’m not trying hard enough to sleep.”

“Why do you think she says that?”

Lily stares back, unblinking. She thinks I’m an idiot. I can read it all over her face. But I want her to tell me. I’m not going to tell her what I think is going on. I maintain eye contact until she looks up and out the high library window.

“She says I’m sneaky.”

“How is being sneaky making it hard for you to sleep?”

“She thinks I’m listening to her for my dad. She thinks I’m his spy.”

“Why would she think you’re spying on her?”

“I got up to pee and heard her talking to someone.”

“Did you stop and listen?”

“No!” she snaps. “I’m not a spy.”

I can see her body coiling, like she’s ready to jump up and run out of here.

“I don’t think you’re a spy, Lily. I’m trying to understand why your mom may have thought that.” I watch as some of the tension leaves her body.

“She yelled at me when she heard the toilet flush.” I wait for her to collect herself. “She told me I was lying and I didn’t have to go to the bathroom. She said I was hiding and listening.”

“But you just had to use the bathroom,” I confirm. “Do you have to use the bathroom a lot at night?”

Her gaze is trained on the window again, and I can almost see her going somewhere else. Her lips purse and relax again and again, an inner battle showing on her face. She’s not the first kid struggling to tell me, and she won’t be the last. Hell, I’m an adult and trained in this stuff, and I can’t seem to get my feelings out.

The bell goes, and she jumps and runs out of the library so fast I don’t even have time to say a proper bye. The last two sessions with Lily have been silence or grunts. I may not have gotten everything out of her, but I got something and it feels like a win. And after my little breakdown earlier, I’ll take any win I can.

TWENTY-SEVEN

FOSTER

“What are you doing on Saturday?” Sophie asks quietly while we’re standing at the back of the gymnasium. The kids are enthralled by the presence of a couple hockey players from the local junior team.

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