Page 34 of The ABCs of You & Me

She groans. “What did you have in mind?”

Sex. That’s literally all I have in mind now.

I pretend to think for a bit, but I already knew what I was going to suggest the minute I woke up today. “My friend Lucas is performing in a drag brunch this Sunday.”

I watch her light up immediately. “I’ve never been to a drag show! I’m in. I guess that leaves me with E.”

“I do believe that letter comes next, yes.”

“I’ll have to give it some thought.” Her face suddenly falls, “Shit, can you open my calendar. I think I’ve got plans with friends on Sunday.”

“Password?”

She lifts her hand off the steering wheel and moves her finger as she recites, “369870.”

Her screen unlocks, and I’m instantly distracted by the background picture. A cow’s head lays on the grass and a smallish white dog is asleep with its head on the cows nose. “That’s Lloyd and Yogurt,” she says when she notices me staring at the picture. “Cass’s boss’s dog and the cow he raised for his first year after my father forced him to take him in.”

“Wait, what?”

“A few years back, Bennett, my parents’ neighbor and Cass’s boss, was all sulky because he let the love of his life leave without telling her how he felt. So my dad showed up at his house with a calf that had been rejected by his mother. Literally walked into the man’s kitchen with him. Yogurt, the dog, is Bennett’s, and the two have basically been best friends ever since.”

“I think Cass may have mentioned a cow when she started the job, but she’s always throwing out random names and I can’t keep track.”

“I don’t blame you. I know a lot of them personally, and I still can’t. Half the time I don’t know if someone’s talking about an animal or a new employee.”

“They do love giving them generic human names, eh?”

“Or food. Marley was on a roll a couple years back. They had a fat tan tabby come in, and she named it Biscuit. A wiener dog that she named Frank, but she always mentioned that it was short for Frankfurter. Let’s see.” She purses her lips while she thinks, and I have the urge to lean over and kiss her. “Chowder, Waffles and Jellybean have also all been used. Waffles was adopted by someone who owns a breakfast place so that name proved to be useful.”

“I guess you’d see that as meant to be.” I yawn.

“Destiny,” she agrees. “Speaking of food, do you feel like anything in particular for dinner?”

“Food.”

“But what?”

“I honestly will eat anything, just don’t make me pick. I need to save all available energy for belting out ‘Let’s Just Pretend.’”

She laughs as if I’m joking, but over the last week I have gotten very into that song, and I do not plan on sitting quietly by when it’s performed tonight.

“That would make my whole night to see,” she declares. Sophie Hore is not prepared for how made her night is going to be.

“How about we flip a coin five times? Heads, we take the first turn on the left. Tails, we take the first turn on the right. Then after five turns we eat at the first restaurant we see.”

I watch eyes slide sideways before snapping back to the road. “For someone who doesn’t want to use any energy deciding on where to eat, that is a very elaborate way to decide.”

I shrug. “But an interesting one, right?”

“Yes. I think there is a coin somewhere in my bag.”

I look down and then back up at her. “As in you’d like me to find it?”

“If you wouldn’t mind. Unless you’re afraid of tampons or something,” she teases.

“I’ll have you know,” I say, picking up her bag and plunking it on my lap, “that I have not only seen tampons before, I’ve purchased them.”

“I bet you got nominated for Boyfriend of the Year for that move.”

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