Page 122 of The ABCs of You & Me

“Mm-hmm. No one had ever touched me like that before. It seems so small, but it’s all the small things with you.” A smile appears for a second but is quickly replaced by what appears to be worry.

“What’s up?”

I watch as her fingers twine around each other, squeezing and releasing again and again. “It’s all so good. With you, I mean. I keep having to push this annoying little voice down.” She taps her temple.

“What’s it saying?”

“Not to trust it,” she admits quietly.

“Have…” I swallow, trying to collect myself, going over our time together. “Have I done anything that gives that little voice power?”

She shakes her head. “He didn’t either, in the beginning. I didn’t even see it happening. Not until I was out and really started to look at things. Then I just felt incredibly dumb. I know I’m not.” She stops me before I have a chance to contradict her. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel like I am. And I know, logically I know, I shouldn’t listen to the voice. You’re not him. You’ve never done a single thing in all the years I’ve known you that would make me think you’re even capable. For one, you’re not a narcissist.” She laughs before releasing a deep sigh. “Also, Cass would never have pushed for this if she didn’t believe you were right for me.”

“It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks though, Soph. All that matters is what you think and feel.”

“My god, this was supposed to be a fun game, and I keep taking it to this heavy place. What’s your favorite foreplay? When you touch me here. What about you, Sophie? Proceeds to trauma-dump while making the man I’m very into worry I’m about to call the whole thing off. When really what I’m trying to do in the most awkward roundabout way ever is tell him I love him t?—.”

“What?” I shout, making her jump but at least it stops her spiraling.

Her blue eyes meet mine as her head tilts to the left, her lips moving back and forth as if she’s trying to contain words she hasn’t said yet.

“Back up a sec. You what?”

“I love him. Him being you. I love you.”

“Yeah?”

She nods slowly back, her eyes never leaving mine. “I have my whole life, it would seem. I was just afraid to admit it.”

“Good. And for the record I’m not worried you’re going to call the whole thing off.”

“No?”

I shake my head slowly. “I’m not him, and I’m never going to be him.”

FIFTY-FOUR

SOPHIE

“So you have no idea what he’s planning for your last…?” Maya trails off as she reaches for a fresh slice of pizza.

“Date?”

“Oh, are we allowed to call them dates now?”

“I think we both know they were always dates.”

“I mean, I did, but you were adamant that they were not. Fake-dating fakers is what you two were.”

“Sorry it took me so long to trust my feelings.” I roll my eyes. “They needed a while to redeem themselves. But then it was like… I had spent years pretending I was fine, pretending I liked everything. And then I was getting all this time withthe guyand I was pretending to pretend. And well, I’m very glad he seemed tired of pretending too.”

Maya rolls her eyes at me and groans.“Sophie, that man was never pretending. He was beingthe guywe all know you deserve. Anyway, all that matters is that you put that poor man out of his misery and you did something for yourself. It’s a win-win,” she says, her eyes softening in a very un-Maya like way. “So, what’s on deck for the last date?” Davis and Foster are out bonding, so we’re eating pizza and pretending to watch a reality show neither of us actually cares about.

“No, not our last date. It’s just the last in this round of themed dates,” I correct her.

She holds her hands up. “You know what I mean.” She rolls her eyes. “He’s probably not taking you to the zoo.”

“No, he already told me that was not happening. But um…” I start to say as we make our way to the living room. “So, there’s this thing I wanted to ask you about.” I don’t know why I’m nervous. Maya and I talk about everything. Hell, I knew way too much about Davis before I even met the man.

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