Page 116 of The ABCs of You & Me

He leans down, his lips brushing my ear. “Nothing stands a chance against you, sunshine.” His lips meet the sensitive skin right below my ear, and I feel the need to grip the high-top table in front of me.

During dinner, Foster insists I try everything on his plate he thinks I’ll like, and as usual he’s right. Celeriac puree is delicious, who knew?

There is a first dance shortly after dinner, and we all stand in a circle around the bride and groom as they sway to Echosmith’s “Surround You.” When the last verse begins, they both gesture for their guests to join them. Foster wraps his arms around my body and pulls me in close. I let myself enjoy how right this all feels. A relaxing evening with my friends and my… Foster.

FIFTY-ONE

FOSTER

Sophie watches me go to my underwear drawer, and her mixed expression alone is worth it.

“I can’t tell if I’m concerned, excited, or terrified,” she says.

“Your face also can’t seem to figure it out.” I chuckle, pulling the box that arrived three days ago out of the drawer.

“This isn’t where you tell me you have your own collection like that one we found in the trunk, is it?”

“No, but what if I did?”

I don’t, but I’m curious what she has to say about it.

“I’d say to each their own, you do you.”

I hold the box out to her and watch her take in the words. It’s a discreet box. Nothing about it would give away what’s inside.

“Inside and Out?” She reads out, flipping it over to see the back. “Is this a… sex game?”

I take the box from her and rip the plastic off. “It’s a deep dive into intimacy.”

She crawls onto the bed and sits cross-legged. “I, the longest letter in the alphabet apparently.”

I sit down on the edge of the bed and set the box between us. “We were playing the intimacy game long before we got to I, sunshine.”

She nods. “Yeah, I realized that randomly one day while I was doing dishes. I must have scrubbed a single mug for fifteen minutes while I thought back to all the times you asked me questions or the way you looked at me. How you made me lunch and cookies. The way you held and still hold my hand. All these little things that seemed so”—she shrugs—“mundane? But things he never did, not even in the beginning. Did you know he never asked me how my day was? He’d tell me about his the minute he got home, and then that was it. That’s so incredibly fucked, right?”

“It’s definitely fucked.” She blushes as her gaze lands on my mouth. “Do you like when I use that word, Soph?” She nods, and I can’t help leaning back to kiss her. “Only with you.”

“How romantic.” She giggles, and I drop a quick kiss on her lips.

“So, you up for this X-rated box of questions?” I tap the box.

“I’m up for anything with you, remember?”

“Well, this is…” Sophie flips the card over as if she’s looking for more information.

“What?”

“It’s not what I was expecting, but that’s fine. Okay, Foster, what is something you are afraid of?”

“That’s…” I start.

“Right? Should we skip it?”

“No, it’s a game of intimacy, not sex. One thing, eh? The uncertainty in my career. That one day I won’t be able to support myself…” I pause, unsure if I should vocalize my whole fear. “Or my family doing it. Now your turn. What’s something you are afraid to tell others?”

My stomach sinks when she actually looks afraid to tell me, but then I watch her sit up a bit straighter. “I’m afraid I won’t be able to have kids.” I watch as she entwines her fingers and squeezes, collecting herself. “My mom struggled for years before she finally got pregnant, and I’m scared I’ve wasted my one chance. And I know, there are countless ways to be a parent, but… it’s silly.” She shakes her head, smiling weakly.

I reach for her hands, wrapping mine around them and drawing them up to my lips. “There’s nothing silly about that, Soph.” I kiss her knuckles. “That’s a genuine fear, and you’re allowed to feel it.” I want to add that we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, but of course it’s too soon for such a conversation, even if I know deep in my bones that she’s the one I’ll be having it with.

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