Page 92 of Sunsets & Slow Dances

“No, you helped.” She patted me on my arm and spoke to me like she would one of her first graders.

“Thanks.” I smiled, but then my smile slowly dropped as a realization hit me.

“What?” Her huge blue eyes stared up at me.

“Nothing.”

She pointed up at me. “That face doesn’t look like nothing.”

“It’s just…where we’re standing.”

She looked around, and then I saw it dawned on her, too. We were in the exact same spot where we had our first conversation beside The Chill Zone snow cone stand. I asked her what her name was and gave her some of my Big League chewing gum.

“Did you ever think about me?” I asked, knowing I might not like the answer. It was my biggest fear, that I hadn’t even been a passing thought in her head when she was my whole world.

She blinked up at me, her expression blank and unreadable. “What?”

“After I left. Did you think about me?”

A wrinkle appeared above the bridge of her nose as her brows knitted together. “Are you serious?”

I nodded.

“How could you…” She shook her head back and forth. “Yes…all the time.”

Her phone buzzed, and she looked down at it. When she looked back up, she said, “We won. They’re wondering where we are.”

I didn’t want to go back to the party. I knew we had to, but I just didn’t want to go back yet. I was scared if we went back now; then I wouldn’t get to talk to her about anything real. I had big decisions to make in my life, and I needed to know if she wanted or cared to be a part of them. I looked over at the Ferris wheel where we’d shared our first kiss and felt drawn to it. It was like we had to ride it.

“Do you want to go on?”

She bit the inside of her mouth. I could see the indecision behind her baby blues as she decided whether or not she wanted to go back and join the rest of the bachelor/bachelorette party or stay here and recreate our first meeting. She took in a breath and nodded. I placed my hand on her back and guided her to the ticket window. Sounds of people on the pier enjoying themselveswere all around us, but all I could hear was the beating of my heart. It was whooshing in my head.

We didn’t say another word to each other as we stood in line for the tickets and then for the ride. From the moment I asked her if she ever thought about me, something changed—something shifted between us. It was selfish of me to bring up the past when so much of my future was unknown. But in my defense, the only thing I’d ever known for sure, the only constant, the only choice I had never questioned was Nadia. Which is why nothing else had ever felt right without her.

33

NADIA

I climbedinto the cart before Callum and sat down. Once we were both seated, Rory, the ride operator, offered us a blanket, which Callum accepted, most likely thinking I was cold because typically I was. There was a chill in the air, but I was anything but cold. The heat that was warming me from the inside out was being generated by the sparks that had been flying between me and Callum all night. Our chemistry was still off the charts.

Spending the evening with him, seeing him interact with people, and seeing the way people responded to him reminded me even more why I loved him. It reminded me who he was. It reminded me of who we were.

Everything with him was always so natural—so easy. Yes, in the past, we had our fair share of fights, but he was right. I was the one who fought; he never did. Our issues were due to my insecurity. I didn’t have to look far to figure out where they came from. I knew that the seeds of my mistrust were planted, watered, and grown from watching the men in my mom’s life. I witnessed how they lied, cheated, used, manipulated, and gaslit her before I was even able to speak. One of my earliest memories is standing in my crib, watching my mom cry while begging aman not to leave after she caught him with another woman. I only remember that there was another woman involved because it was my babysitter.

I brought all that baggage into our relationship, and he’d carried it for me with zero complaints. He never got frustrated or called me names like the men my mom dated did to her, even when I was completely in the wrong and out of line. He took after his mom in that way. In fact, he also deserved sainthood.

Callum spread the blanket out over us, and even though I wasn’t cold, I had to admit, it was cozy. The ride started with a jerk, and I gripped onto the side and stared straight ahead. As we ascended, I could feel Callum staring at me, but for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to turn toward him.

As an adult, I was rarely ever shy. The only person who could ever make me shy was Callum, which was strange because he also empowered me the most and gave me the most confidence. It was quite the juxtaposition. I wasn’t exactly sure where my sudden bout of shyness was coming from. It’s not like we hadn’t been intimate since he’d been back. We had. But this was different. This was in public. Sort of. We were in a gondola that was moving, but I didn’t want anyone to see the vulnerability, the raw emotion, the love I still harbored for him.

When we reached the top, I finally glanced over at him, and when I did, the look in his eyes surprised me. It was intense, but not in the way I’d thought it would be. He looked…pained.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know what to do.”

Okay, that was not at all what I thought he was going to say.

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