After pressing send, I stood up from the toilet where I’d been sitting fully dressed for the past ten minutes and wiped my eyes. I’d been hiding in the bathroom at Artistic Horizons, feeling sorry for myself, long enough. I could have a proper woe-is-me bash tonight with a glass (bottle) of wine and trash reality TV marathon after Callum ripped the it’s-not-you-it’s-me Band-Aid off that was currently holding the pieces of my shattered heart together.
Was I being dramatic? Sure. But in fairness to me, he was the only man I’d ever loved. Typically, I ran through men like acollege football team charging through a banner onto the field on game day; confident, fast, head-on, and ready to attack. But with Callum, I was in full-fledged fight or flight mode, and I’d sprouted wings that were flapping away. I wanted to avoid, avoid, avoid, which is why we’d been playing phone tag for the past week. I’d been too scared to pick up his call.
Getting over Callum the first time was hard. It nearly broke me, even though I’d been the one to end it. The only thing that got me through it was knowing I’d done it for him. I’d sacrificed my happiness so thathecould be happy. I put him first, not wanting him to throw his life away just to stay in Firefly with me while I cared for my mom. It was the most loving thing I could possibly do for him. That knowledge was what enabled me to survive that heartbreak.
This time, I wasn’t sure I could handle it. I had to prepare myself to hear him tell me he didn’t want to be with me because his feelings had changed; he loved Felicity and wanted to work things out with her, which, of course, he did. Not only was she supermodel hot, but they had a much more serious relationship than ours. They were adults with adult love; we were kids with puppy love. They had a human child together. We were ‘parents’ to an egg we shared for a week in our health class, which we broke on the third day. Jana Kramer said it best in her song, “She Got the Boy, I Got the Man,” except I was theshein the situation, and Felicity was theI,I got the boy, she got the man.
Logically, it would make sense that he would want to be with Felicity and sweep our night together under the rug. Regretfully, my heart and logic weren’t on speaking terms at the moment, so I was pretty sure my ticker wouldn’t take anything that logic had to say into consideration before shattering into a million pieces.
After washing my hands and cleaning up the mascara that had smudged beneath my eyes so I didn’t look like I was cosplaying Rocket Racoon fromGuardians of the Galaxy, I wentback out to the front desk. As hard as I tried to concentrate on work, all I could think about was the conversation that Callum and I were going to have tonight. The harder I tried not to think about it, the more I obsessed over it. Thankfully, I only had about twenty more minutes until five o’clock when the kids came out of the studio to wait in the lobby for their ride.
When the clock finally hit five, I sighed a breath of relief. At this point, I just wanted to get the conversation with Callum over. One by one, kids began to get picked up. I was speaking to Roger Luden about his daughter Stella, who was a student in my class at Firefly Elementary, when the glass door opened and Felicity walked in. Like the first time I saw her, I was stunned by her beauty, but this time, I was also struck by her style. This woman was dripping in designer brands. She had on yoga pants with a matching top, which I’m sure were Lululemon because they were the best, and since she’d paired her casual wear with a Hermès Birkin bag, Van Cleef bracelet, Cartier sunglasses, and Balenciaga trainers, I would guess she preferred the finer things. She was wearing more than what my grandfather’s house was worth.
The past week, Nora had been dropping Matty and Chloe off at the afterschool program and picking them up, but today, Felicity was here. I hadn’t seen her since the morning after I was with Callum. I wondered if her second appearance had anything to do with the invitation I’d received from him asking to see me tonight. I didn’t know how the two could be related, but every time I saw the woman, it was clear she had an agenda, whether it was to plant her flag and stake her claim or try to repel me. If she were a skunk, I would be covered in her spray, smelling like rotten eggs and cabbage.
I smiled in an attempt to be friendly, but she looked right through me as if I didn’t even exist.
“Let’s go,” she instructed Matty and Chloe.
Besides blanking me, I noted that she didn’t smile when she saw Matty or Chloe. I considered myself open-minded and tried not to judge parents or people in general, for that matter. For one thing, I wasn’t a parent myself, so who the hell was I to say anything? But it did bother me whenever a kid’s face lit up to see their parents, and the parents looked indifferent, or even worse, irritated at their child’s enthusiastic greeting.
“Bye, guys!” I smiled and waved as the kids walked by, hoping to offset Felicity’s chilly demeanor and detached expression.
I knew, of course, that I couldn’t replace Matty’s mom’s affection or the loss of Chloe’s mom, but if they both knew there was someone happy to see them, then maybe it would help even the balance in their emotional bank.
“I’m not going with you,” Chloe stated defiantly.
“Excuse me?” Felicity’s tone turned from chilly to ice cold.
“I said, I am not going home with you.” Chloe spoke each word slowly and deliberately in a mocking fashion, then turned to me and sweetly asked, “Can you take me to Kendall's?”
“Oh, um, I don’t…” I glanced between Felicity and Chloe, then down at Matty, then back to Chloe, and over to Felicity again. “Is it okay with?—”
“Do whatever you want.” Felicity took Matty’s hand and practically dragged him out of the building.
“Bye, Matty.” I waved as the door shut.
Chloe helped Ashley clean the classrooms up while the rest of the parents picked up their kids and I finished up some paperwork. While Chloe was in the back, I messaged Callum to make sure it was okay that I took her to Kendall’s. Even though Felicity had agreed to it, sort of, I didn’t feel right about taking her anywhere without Callum’s permission. He responded, saying it was fine, and about fifteen minutes later, Chloe and I were headed to Kendall’s.
On the ride over, Chloe remained silent. The past week, I’d noticed a few concerning changes in her. She was isolating herself and not being social. I hadn’t seen her smile once. She barely interacted with her friends, and when she did, it looked like she would rather be having a root canal. I kept telling myself it was because her mom just died, but I was wondering if something else was bothering her. I wanted to ask her if she was okay, but that was a stupid question. Of course, she wasn’t okay. She missed her mom. She was living with people she barely knew. It was a lot to adjust to.
Even though I’d only known Chloe a short time, I cared about her, a lot. I saw myself in her, except she was having to go through so much more at her age than I did.
We were only a few blocks from Kendall’s house, and I didn’t want her to get out without me saying anything. I took a breath as I pulled up to a stop sign.
“Chloe.”
She looked over at me, and the pain in her eyes caused my chest to ache.
“I really want to ask you if you’re okay, but I know that’s a stupid question. I’ve been trying to figure out what therightquestion or thing to say is, but I’m not coming up with anything. We’re going to be at Kendall’s soon, but I just want you to know that I’m here if you ever want to talk aboutanything. Day or night, you can call me or show up at my door. I’m here for you. This is a safe place, a judgment-free zone. You can say whatever you want. And no matter what happens or where life takes us, I’ll always be here for you;nothingwill change that.”
Her cheek hollowed as she bit the inside of her mouth, then turned to look out the window again. As I pulled away from the stop sign, I wondered if I should have just kept my mouth shut. Maybe she felt like I was getting in her business too muchor overstepping a boundary. What if I just made matters worse, and she retreated into her turtle shell even further?
My mind was still asking what-ifs when Chloe blurted out, “She is theworst!”
It took me a second to figure out what or who she was talking about, and I still wasn’t completely sure.
“Felicity?” I asked to confirm my assumption.