Page 66 of Sunsets & Slow Dances

It didn’t bother me. I meant what I said, that we didn’t fight. But if jealousy was what Nadia needed to be interested in me, then maybe that was an issue.

Not that it mattered. All of this was pointless because I had no clue what she wanted. From what Harlan and Dawson said today over the pool table, she hadn’t had a serious relationship in the last ten years. That shocked me. She’d always talked about wanting to get married and have kids. Had that changed?

What if she didn’t want to settle down at all?

There was no way I could casually date her. There was nothing casual about my feelings for her. That was why it had hurt so much when she’d casually hooked up with Clemons the night after my father’s funeral. Technically, wewerebroken up. But that was just semantics. In all the years we were on and off again, we’d never messed around with anyone else when we weren’t together.

At least I hadn’t. Even after I saw Jerry sneaking out of her house shirtless, I still didn’t believe something had happened between them. Not really. It wasn’t until I confronted her about it, and she didn’t deny it, that I had no other choice but to accept the fact that they’d been together. Then it made me wonder, all those years, had she just been breaking up with me so she could fool around with people and then come back to me when she was bored? I was in my head about that for a few years, but then, one day, I realized none of that mattered. What she did when we weren’t together was none of my business.

I also realized I should have asked herwhyshe hooked up with Jerry. I should have talked to her instead of accusing her. I should have asked her questions instead of just talking at her. I didn’t handle the situation well. But I was young, my dad just died, and I’d just found out he had a three-year-old child with a woman fifteen years younger than him after I’d heard my mom beg him for another baby for years. It was a lot to handle.

My head was all over the place as I pulled up to my mom’s house and saw a car I didn’t recognize. It was a white Mercedes with blacked-out windows. I pulled up beside it, and when I gotout, I noticed a rental car company sticker in the top right corner of the windshield.

I was halfway up the front steps of the porch when Buzz came around the side of the house, thumbs hooked in the straps of his overalls.

“Hey.” I nodded to him.

“You’ve got a visitor, son.”

Before I could respond and ask him who it was, the front door opened, and Felicity appeared. Her hair was dark brown and fell down to her waist, which made me think she had extensions because when she left ten months ago, her hair was blonde and she had a pixie cut. That wasn’t the only change; her brown eyes were now a bluish green, so if I had to guess, she’d gotten a brand deal with a colored contact company. She definitely had filler in her lips because they were double the size they’d been the last time I’d seen her, and since her face was not moving an inch even though she was smiling, I’d say she’d overdone it on the Botox.

“Cally!” She walked over to me and threw her arms around me.

“What are you doing here?” I stepped out of her hold and walked inside the house. “Why didn’t you call?”

She followed me, and her fingers crawled up my back as she claimed, “I wanted to surprise you.”

“You can’t just show up like this.” I turned and shut the door. “You should have called.”

“If I did that, it wouldn’t have been a surprise,” she explained as if it was the silliest suggestion she’d ever heard. “And why should I call? He’s my son, and you said that I can see him anytime I want.”

“I’m not saying that you can’t; I’m just saying that it’s not good for him to?—”

“Mama?”

I looked over and saw Matty at the bottom of the stairs looking up at his mom like she was Santa Claus. Which, in fairness, tracked since the bearded man showed up about as often as Felicity.

“Matty! There’s my sleepy little prince.” Felicity bent down, and Matty rushed and jumped in her arms.

As she hugged Matty, Felicity looked up at me with an I-told-you-so look on her face, as if his reaction to seeing her negated my comment that she couldn’t just show up like this. I knew that he missed her. What kid wouldn’t miss their mom? That wasn’t the point. The point was, he wasn’t a toy she could put on a shelf and then take down to play with whenever she wanted. He was a child with feelings. He needed stability. He needed structure. He needed to know that he could depend on the people he loved to be there for him. She’d never proven to be one of those people.

The only thing consistent about her was that she prioritized herself above him. She disguised her selfishness and narcissism as ‘self-care,’ quoting things like needing to fill up her own glass before she can pour into anyone else’s and putting her own oxygen mask on before she can help anyone else. Those were all true statements, and a lot of parents did put themselves last, but she was never in danger of doing that. She weaponized ‘self-care,’ claiming that was her reason to leave for weeks, even months at a time, for yoga and wellness retreats, girls’ trips, mini-vacations, brand trips, and holidays.

“Mama, are you going to live here now?” Matty asked.

“No,” I stated firmly, leaving no room for argument.

“Yes,” Felicity responded at the same time.

Her head spun to me, and I could see she was going to argue, but before she got the chance, my mom came downstairs, looking beautiful, dressed and showered for the day.

“I thought I heard voices. Hello, Felicity,” she greeted Matty’s mom sweetly. “When did you get into town?”

“Just now.” Felicity stood. “I flew in from Los Angeles on a red eye and I am absolutely exhausted.”

“Oh.” My mom’s eyes cut to mine with a questioning look. I could see she was trying to silently and tactfully ask if I had any idea about her plans. I didn’t care about tact in this moment.

“I had no idea she was coming,” I answered her silent question bluntly.

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