Page 57 of Sweet Obsession

Icarus props his head on one hand. “She’s going to be a problem.”

“Zeus’s problem. Not ours.” I wish I believed it. I never should have allowed her to convince me to join in that ill-fated coup attempt. It’s been nothing but trouble, pulling me deeper and deeper into the messy politics and backstabbing—literal and otherwise—that I’ve spent most of my time as Poseidon avoiding.

“If you really believe that, big guy, I have an ocean-front property in Arkansas to sell you.” He leans over and brushes a kiss to my lips. “You’ll handle it. I have no doubt about that.”

I huff out a laugh. “You have more faith in me than I deserve.”

“I have exactly as much faith as you deserve.” He kisses me again, longer this time. It’s surprisingly sweet and sincere enough to worry me.

I pull back and search his face. He’s still a better liar than I’ll ever be, but I’m starting to be able to read the real emotions beneath the careless mask. He…means it. He really has that much faith in me. It scares the shit out of me. “I don’t deserve you.”

Icarus chuckles awkwardly and sits up. “I think you’ll find that the situation is reversed. Hera is right, you know. As soon as the Thirteen and the rest of Olympus find out you’re fucking me, any credibility you’ve gained over your tenure as Poseidon will be gone. They’ll call you a traitor and worse.”

“Fuck them.” The words burst out of me, far stronger than I intended. I didn’tintendto say them at all. “I never signed up for any of this, and I’ve still done my duty to them for most of my life. You’re the only person who’s actually seen what I need and tried to give it to me. You’re the only person who’s seenme.”

“Poseidon.” I hate the way he says my name, like I’m a silly teenager experiencing puppy love instead of a man who’s seen the backside of forty. Icarus turns away, his shoulders hunching a little. “I know the sex is good, but it’s just sex—and good kink. You’re experiencing emotions that are the result of that, not because of me.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

He flinches and spins to face me. “Excuse me?”

I stand and cross to him in two steps. He backs up and I shadow him, stalking him across the room until his back hits the wall. Icarus stares up at me with wide eyes, nothing like the sweetly sadistic Dominant he is when we engage in a scene. Both are him, but the other is at peace with how much I want him. This version needs more assurance. Is it any wonder? He’s experienced so much trauma in the last few weeks—watched his abusive father die and his beloved sister sail off without him. Of course he doesn’t believe that I might have actual feelings for him.

I plant my hands on either side of his head and lean down until our faces are even. “I need you to listen to me. Are you listening?”

“Kind of hard not to,” he murmurs. He’s not panicking, though. He’s certainly not afraid. Good. I don’t want him scared. I just want his attention.

“I’m not one of your marks who only sees the fantasy and not the man beneath.” I’m not the kind of person who always knows the right thing to say. I’m pretty sure I’veneverknown the right thing to say. It’s a damn shame, because I need the words to chase the lost look from his eyes and I don’t fucking have them. “I see you. What I feel for you is the result of you seeing me, too. I’m not distracted by the sex and kink. It’s simply part of the whole picture.”

He blinks at me, looking wounded and confused, and I don’t know how to fucking fix it. Especially when he licks his lips. “It will never work. Olympus will never accept me. If you appear to choose me over the city, even your own people will hate you. It will ruin everything good you’ve spent decades creating. You’ll start to resent me, and eventually that resentment will turn to hate.”

We might both die tonight, so I don’t see the point in worrying about a future that might never come. I know better than to say as much, though. It will come across as dismissive and will hurt him, which is the last thing I want.

“I never wanted to be Poseidon. I’ve held the title this long because there was no one else.” Technically, Triton could have held it if something happened to me, but he would have been an unmitigated disaster as Poseidon. “I can train Triton’s eldest daughter to take the title and step down. It will take some time, but once I’m no longer Poseidon, it won’t matter what the city thinks. We could…” I take a deep breath and a leap of faith. “We could meet your sister in Brazil for Carnaval. We could go anywhere, do anything. Whatever you want.”

Icarus laughs in my face. It’s a desperate sound. Wounded. “Stop it.” He pushes at my chest, and I release him and step back so he can slip past me. He drags a hand through his wavy hair. “I know I can be an asshole, but you’re being cruel. Even if the title and the city didn’t stand between us,westand between us. We’re too different. I’ll disappoint you. You’ll drive me to distraction with your rigidity.”

I flinch.Rigidity.That’s one way to put it. It’s almost kind, which somehow makes it worse. I’m a fool for thinking he might not find me lacking the way every one of my past lovers have. “If you don’t want me, all you had to do was say so, Icarus. I have no desire to force you into anything.”

“That’s not what I meant!”

Frustration is thick on my tongue, a buzzing beneath my skin. I have to turn away, have to release the pressure by tapping my fingersagainst my thigh even though I know it’s giving my agitation away by doing so. “Then what do you mean?” This isn’t the time for this conversation. I should have known better than to start it. I’m a fool a thousand times over for thinking he felt the same way.

“Poseidon,” he says softly. He waits for me to turn and face him to continue. Icarus looks as lost as I feel, and somehow instead of comforting me, it only makes me feel worse because I’m the one who’s put that expression on his face. He takes a deep breath. “I’m fucking this up. Can we pause, please?”

“Of course.” There’s nothing else to say. I can’t push forward and drag him along behind me when he obviously wants to be anywhere but here.

“Okay.” He paces from one side of the room to the other. “Okay, give me a second.”

There’s nothing to do but sit on the chair and wait him out. His mind moves so fast, he doesn’t make me wait long. He spins to face me, pointing an accusing finger at my face. “If I trust you to know your own mind, then you have to give me the same courtesy. Deal?”

I swallow down the instinctive agreement and examine his words from all angles. I don’t know if I’m sensing a trap, or if I’ve simply been a member of the Thirteen for too long and have trust issues. It seems simple enough, though. I nod slowly. “That seems reasonable.”

“Good. Great.” His body shifts like he was about to start pacing again but he forcibly jerked himself to a stop. “I meant what I said about caring about you. That isn’t just sex and that isn’t manipulation because you’re keeping me safe. I don’t understand how we could possibly have a future together, but that doesn’t mean I don’twant the idea of it.”

I have to grip the edge of the chair to keep from going to him, from hugging him until he loses that ragged edge of fear, because that’s what you do when people are upset and you have a certain level of intimacy with them. But it’s not the right move right here, right now, with him.

I force myself to pause and think and reason through this the way I promised I would. “I care about you, too,” I say slowly. “I appreciate how similarly our tastes run sexually and that you’ve opened up a new world there for me, but I also appreciate how brave you were on the docks to defend your sister. I hate that you don’t feel like you’re good enough when you’re clever and kind and have a great capacity for love.”

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