Page 94 of This Monster of Mine

Sarai shifted so the other girl could sit beside her. “Don’t panic just yet. This’ll all be sorted out at trial. I’m handling it.”

“Like you handled Tullus at Helvus’s? Do you know how difficult it was for me to see that?”

Sarai voiced the question she’d pondered for nights afterward. “Why didn’t you or Aelius do anything?”

“TetrarchAelius. And how could we? After what you pulled …”

The pit in her stomach yawned, swallowing the rest of Cisuré’s response. If Tullus hadn’t stopped, would Cisuré have just stood there as Sarai had the life choked from her?

“We can still smooth this over,” the other girl said firmly. “Tetrarch Aelius hasn’t announced that there’s going to be a trial yet to give you time to rectify your mistake. I’ve spoken to him. Just retract these bizarre allegations, and this’ll blow over.”

Flummoxed, Sarai ran the entire rush of words once more through her head. “Retract?”

“What’s done is done. Admia killed a man, and she’ll pay for it. There’s no reason to have a separate trial on the basis of her accusations. Just let Helvus be put to rest.”

“Those aren’t justheraccusations. They’re mine! I saw—”

“You were confused.” Steel lined Cisuré’s voice. “Helvus was dying, and you were exhausted. Admia believed what she wanted to believe, and you pulled it out.”

“Not you too! Please don’t act like I’m mad. I saw the exploded scutum outside her home! There was iron dust in the core!”

“That doesn’t mean that Helvus did it on purpose or that every scutum is defective! The Guildsman manufacturing Admia’s must have made a mistake.”

“I Probed Helvus,” Sarai blurted. Cisuré stilled. “I had to know the truth.”

“I can’t hear this.” The other girl rose, her face bloodless with panic. “What have you done? You violated the head of adying man!”

“None of it made sense to begin with! How can faith power a metal rod against a lightning strike?”

“How can other countries control ice or glass? Why do only certain magical abilities flow in our veins? Runes are the tongue our power speaks and responds to! And if it can call down lightning and mask scars, then who’s to say that they cannot tie us to the gods?”

“But I had a chance to learn the truth about those inner workings and save lives! That’s why I looked in Helvus’s head!”

“Enough!” Cisuré said shrilly, causing the archivist to stare. “The scuta have saved hundreds of thousands. Faith is believing without seeing. Some people just aren’t capable of that.” She stared at Sarai as if she’d never truly seen her. “As Petitors, our duty is tofollowthe law, not rewrite it. You’ve damaged our profession.”

Sarai’s nails cut into her palms to stop herself from screaming. “The law isn’t infallible, otherwise it wouldn’t require me to willfully ignore evidence because Helvus is rich!”

Cisuré gripped her shoulders. “Don’t youdarespeak like Kadra. Anything he’s said, no matter how enticing, is a lie. This city is a hotbed of corruption because ofhim.You’re in the palm of a seasoned manipulator, and you don’t care!”

“Because my decisions aren’t based on him!” Sarai snapped and immediately wished she hadn’t when Cisuré’s face crumpled.

“You could be sent to the mines! Do you even have any physical proof that Helvus tampered with the scuta?” A tear rolled down Cisuré’s cheek at Sarai’s silence. “The harder you cling to this, the more it looks like you’ve something against Helvus, and that’s fodder for acalumniacharge on top ofyour abuse of power. Please just drop it. Pin everything on Admia’s delusions, and you’ll be safe. The public will believe anything about a madwoman.”

Anguish stuck in Sarai’s throat. She spoke past the lump. “Theycertowill.”

Cisuré flinched. “Don’tdraw that parallel. Admia is a criminal, and you were fourteen! Gods, why can’t you be rational? Why are you choosinghim?”

“I’m choosing myself!” She pulled free of Cisuré’s grip. “Every day, I choosethatgirl whom everyone failed. So why won’tyouchoose her?”

Sarai hunched forward, breathing hard. Several breaths later, Cisuré took her hands, their delicate structure standing out in stark relief against Sarai’s trembling fingers.

“I can’t tell you not to choose her,” Cisuré said quietly. “But you’re going about it the wrong way. Violating laws, accusing a dead man who can’t defend himself—that’s revenge, not justice, and it kills the soul. It’s why you’re alwaysangry. Tetrarch Aelius says—”

Sarai’s jaw clenched. “I think I’d rather not hear what Aelius has to say.”

Cisuré closed her eyes. “I only want what’s best for you.” When she opened them, hard resolve filled the brown depths. “I won’t apologize for that.”

“I know.”

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