Page 107 of This Monster of Mine

She turned, every movement stilted. Slow. “Should I be?”

Cisuré swallowed. She took a step back, sucking her lower lip between her teeth. “You’ve heard about the warrant.”

“The one where I die on a whipping post?Certo.” Sarai couldn’t hide her bewilderment and hurt. “What I want to know iswhy.”

“One of us had to make the right choice.” Cisuré’s eyes welled. “You’re headed for disaster, and Iwon’tsee you go there. You weren’t going to stop. Ihadto!”

It took Sarai several minutes to hoist her dropped jaw. “Please don’t discredit your intelligence and mine. You can’t expect me to believe your only option was signing off on that warrant and having Tullus roast my throat!”

Cisuré’s eyes widened. She pulled Sarai to a deserted patch of grass. “What do you mean?”

It poured out: Aelius, Tullus, the burning. Throughout her explanation, Cisuré’s face grew increasingly baffled until it was a mask of horror.

“He hurt you?” The other girl wrenched down the collar of Sarai’s tunic and paused. “I don’t see anything.”

“I healed it, but he almost went through my jugular,” Sarai whispered. “I thought I was going to die.”

Cisuré bit her lip. “Are you sure?”

Sarai froze. “What?”

“I’m not doubting you!” Cisuré said quickly. “I only mean that Tullus hurt your neck at Helvus’s, didn’t he? Perhaps he accidentally inflictedthe burns, and you didn’t notice. You were both troubled at the time, so it’s understandable.”

Sarai wondered if she was dreaming. She had to be, because none of it made sense.

“Cisuré, I’m not lying.”

“I’m not saying you’re lying! But it’s been so difficult for you. You’re confused.”

“I’m notconfused! I felt him searing my skin on your Tetrarch’s command!”

Impatience rippled across Cisuré’s face. “Tetrarch Aelius had no reason to do that. You were going to agree to search Kadra’s tower anyway.” At Sarai’s silence, her eyes narrowed. “Weren’t you?”

“Why should I after what Aelius—”

“TetrarchAelius!” Cisuré glanced skyward, searching for patience. “If anyone burns people alive, it’s Kadra. He could have done this to you and tricked you into thinking that it was Tullus.”

Sarai stared at her oldest friend, something bitter building in her but refusing to bubble over. Because that would prove Cisuré right.

“You don’t believe me,” she finally said. “You can dress it however you want, but the truth is that you’d rather believe that monster you serve over me.”

Cisuré paled at the eerie calm of her voice. “I’m being objective. And let’s not point fingers at who really serves a monster.”

“Right.” Tears pricked at Sarai’s eyelids. “The thing is, I didn’tchoosemine.” Cisuré tensed. “I didn’t go into the Grand Elsarian Temple and vow to be some smooth-talking snake’s Petitor andlieto my stupid, scarred friend thousands of miles away about it every single day forfour years.” Her voice escalated until each word was a snarl. A few vigiles some distance away cast a wary eye at them.

Cisuré blanched. “Who told you?”

“It should have beenyou!”

“I didn’t want you to feel bad!” the other girl yelled back. “You were broken. Ruined. How could I tell you I was doing better than you ever could?”

The breath vanished from Sarai’s lungs. “You thought I’d resent you?”

“Haven’t you always?” Cisuré’s voice cracked. “All you talk about is poverty and disparity—”

“Because that was my life and still is! I just got beaten andburned—”

“This is what I mean!” Cisuré’s eyes were hot with anger. “You’reunbearable! Even when Marus beat me and forced me into being the most-talented daughter anyone could ask the gods for, you stillhatedthat you didn’t have my life, didn’t you? But now that you’re here, can’t you see why you got so much less? You have no regard for centuries of established law or social order. These are the consequences! I never believed in your silly visions of tearing everything down, and I never will. I hoped for you to grow past it, but you’re still stuck playing the victim.”

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