Page 65 of This Monster of Mine

“Not dancing?” At the edge of her vision, Kadra studied her profile.

“I’d rather observe.” After a second, she offered the rest of the truth. “And I don’t know how.”

“And if you did?”

“I don’t know. I think I’d be rather particular about my partner.”

He would be a magnificent dancer, she guessed. Just as elegant outside of combat as in it. Theirs was a strange dance around a ballroom of their own. Avoiding, intersecting, joining each other’s paths intentionally. Always watching.

Glancing down at the giddy dancers, she looked away when the floor teetered. He moved like lightning, gripping her elbow as she swayed. Warmth radiated where his palm met the fabric. Sucking in a breath, she withdrew. His gaze dropped to the wineglass in her hands, and she scowled.

“I’m perfectly fine, Tetrarch Kadra. I’ve only had a glass this entire evening. I … don’t do well with heights.”

He considered her thoughtfully. “Yet, here you are.”

They were no longer talking about heights. “I wanted to see if it would help.”

He seemed to move a fraction closer. The balcony shrank. “Did it?”

“No.” They were mirror images now. A hand on the railing in a cursory nod to the entertainment but angled toward each other. She hated it. She wanted to step closer. “I see why you don’t come to these now. Walking in elevated circles doesn’t mean you can change them.”

A slow smile. “We can’t all drug and shave the heads of our offenders.”

Her cheeks burned.Fucking Cisuré.“I was much younger, and it didn’t end up being all that clever. I scrubbed out the latrines for a year as punishment.”

“Was that when you stopped standing up for yourself?”

She looked up. “What—” She broke off, the dark indulgence in his eyes rattling her even more. “What does that matter?”

“Ennius, court, tonight, you throw yourself forward in everyone’s defense. But not in yours.”

“Because it’s irrelevant.”

“Why would it be irrelevant?”

“Why do you care?” she snapped, and realized she’d given herself away when his smile widened.

The quiet that bloomed between them was soft and knowing. After a moment, she lowered her head and sighed.

“It is difficult to have to convince others of your humanity.” She stared at her shaking fingers on the railing, inches from his. “Not just being human but being … worthy of all the accoutrements of humanity. A roof over your head, fair compensation for your labor, and justice when a wrong is committed.” Heat licked behind her eyes. “But so many don’t believe that. And they’ve spent their entire lives proselytizing that people are tools to be exploited. Advocating for myself before these people”—she indicated the jewel-decked attendees and shook her head—“it’s impossible. You’re the plaintiff, defendant, and Petitor rolled into one. They’re the iudices. They conclude that you’re biased, envious, and they won’t believe a word. So why lose my temper and pay the price when I could keep my head down?”

She barely kept her voice steady. “But it’s easier to defend someone else. Because at leasttheydon’t have to feel like everyone is arrayed against their existence. At least they know they’ve someone on their side.” In Arsamea, it was all she’d hoped for. These days, she didn’t bother. “There you are. Will that be all, Tetrarch Kadra?”

She blinked until her vision was no longer blurry and looked up. A roaring began in her ears. Because she’d somehow set Kadra ablaze.

Something quiet and lethal burned in his eyes. “Choose me.” His voice was rough, jaw tensed like he hadn’t wanted to say it. As if she hadn’t given him a choice but to say it.

Her silence stretched, raw and taut. A tendril of hair fell into her face. His brow furrowed, fingers reaching out, waiting for her dazed nod before tucking the lock back in place. An aching warmth hummed where his fingers brushed her skin.

“Can you say that tearing the Tetrarchy apart will fix this?” she whispered. “If it’s gone, will you change everything for the better?”

The electrifying emotion faded from his face. “I can’t.” The words were empty. “But others can.”

True.“Who?”

“That knowledge has a price. Do you want me after all?” There was a disconcerting sensuality in his slight smile.

She crossed her arms. “Where’s that group of Guildmasters again? I should let them into your tower.”

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