Page 130 of Bonds of Hate

“You’re an Omega.”

The silence has lasted long enough for both of us to build a moderately acceptable nest and settle into it before I finally feel compelled to speak. Cillian had studiously ignored my outburst about his designation in favor of lining up a dozen water bottles at the edge of his mat, studying them on his hands and knees to ensure perfect spacing between each one.

Without an Alpha to trigger it, some symptoms of my heat have faded enough to be ignored. My head isn’t exactly clear, but I can at least think about something aside from how good it would feel to take a knot right now. This is only a calm before the inevitable storm and won’t last long, but I can try to enjoy it while it does.

I continue to study Cillian as he makes a point of ignoring me. “Everyone says there is no such thing as male Omegas.”

His voice is lower pitched than normal, and more exhausted than angry. “Everyone needs to talk to my fucking hormones, then.”

“Is this your first heat?”

He grimaces, clutching at his stomach as he climbs into his nest and lays down on his back. “Unfortunately, no. But it was just the one when I presented. I’ve been on suppressants ever since.”

I have dozens of questions that I already know he won’tanswer. When did he present? How has he kept this a secret for so long? Has anyone else figured it out? If so, who?

“You’ve been taking suppressants yourself this entire time. That’s why you could get them for me so quickly. And it must have been hard to get enough, so you’ve been rationing them, which is why you’ve been looking like shit for the last few days.” I know I’m talking to myself because he gives no indication of listening to me. My gaze shifts to the scattered pills in the corner. That sick yellow of vomit or dehydrated baby piss might be the ugliest color I’ve ever seen. “So you probably double or triple-dosed yourself with these new ones as soon as you got your hands on them. Must have been a really shit feeling when you realized they were bunk.”

Cillian throws his arm up to cover his eyes. “Please go back to dry humping that pillow and leave me alone.”

When I look down, I’m actually surprised to find the pillow jammed between my thighs, thoroughly soaked in slick. I’d been grinding against it for who knows how long without even realizing it.

Fucking heat.

I hate the loss of control, becoming a victim of my own body and urges. Heat has never come on for me like this before, so insidious that I didn’t even realize it was happening until it had already started.

Now that I’m again aware of the tingling ache between my thighs, it’s become impossible to ignore again. My hips move in a slow circle and I have to clench my own fingers into fists to prevent myself from shoving two or three of theminside myself.

When I risk a glance back at Cillian, he’s staring at me with an expression that almost looks sympathetic.

“Not just bunk, something much worse,” he whispers. “I can’t run the tests to prove it, but I think these fake suppressants are actually heat inducers.”

Horror temporarily cools my overheated libido. “No.”

Cillian burrows himself into the blankets until only the emotional wreckage on his face is visible. “I’m sorry.”

Suppressants might exist in a legal gray area that makes the black market more convenient, but heat inducers are very illegal. No Omega in their right mind would take a heat inducer willingly, assuming they somehow got their hands on some. I’ve heard stories of unscrupulous Alphas using heat inducers to force betas into mimicking the symptoms of a heat, but an inducer can destroy an Omega’s nervous system. Heat fever might just burn our brains out of skulls.

Especially without an Alpha to temper the response.

“What are we going to do?” I ask, voice cracking.

“Ride it out. What else can we do?”

I rub the heel of my hand against my mound because I can’t help myself, an itch there that I can’t scratch. Even without a knot, some stimulation is required if an Omega wants their heat to actually end. “Inducers can kill us. It’s practically one of the first things they teach you in health class at the Enclave.”

“You’ll have to forgive my ignorance,” he drawls. “I didn’t have the benefit of your education.”

“Lucky you.”

“Bite your tongue,” he snarls, kicking off the blankets tosit up and glare at me. “It’s been absolute hell since I presented.”

“I know you had access to suppressants,” I snap right back at him. “The Enclave wouldn’t offer us anything during our heat, just a bunch of desperate Omegas locked in a room together for days. The only kindness they offered was not forcing us to go through it alone.”

He gives me a mocking look. “You really don’t seem like the type to be into girls.”

I tilt my head back to stare at the ceiling, fighting back sudden tears even as need rages in my achingly empty core. “Omegas will fuck anything when we’re in heat. Everyone knows that.”

“Fine, whatever. You win the perfect-Omega-who-always-knows-everything contest. You always do.”

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