Page 97 of Knot Unwanted: Part One

My legs finally give out and I sink to my knees in the damp leaves. The forest spins around me as exhaustion catches up all at once. Or maybe it’s not just exhaustion. Maybe it’s this heat undermy skin, this need that won’t go away, this feeling like I’m burning up from the inside out.

A twig snaps somewhere in the distance and my head jerks up. But it’s just a squirrel, startled by something I can’t see. Still, my heart pounds harder. I can’t stay here. Can’t risk being found.

But when I try to stand, my legs won’t cooperate. The world tilts alarmingly, and suddenly the forest floor seems very far away. Darkness creeps in at the edges of my vision as my body finally rebels against everything I’ve put it through.

The last thing I see before consciousness slips away is a patch of sky through the leaves above—endless blue stretched between dark branches, indifferent to the chaos below.

Just like at the Academy, my last thought is of escape. But this time, I’m not sure what I’m running from—or what I’m running toward.

The darkness takes me before I can figure it out.

Consciousness returns slowly. The first thing I notice is the ache radiating through every muscle. The second is the chill that has settled into my bones, making me shiver despite the afternoon warmth.

I blink, squinting against patches of sunlight filtering through the leaves above. How long have I been unconscious? The light seems different, more golden, suggesting at least a couple of hours have passed.

As awareness creeps back, so do the memories.

Finn’s lips on mine.

The softness in his eyes.

His alpha, Jax, appearing in the doorway.

Running.

Running.

Running.

“Oh god.” The words come out as a croak, my throat raw from panicked breathing. I push myself to sitting position, wincing as various cuts and scrapes make themselves known. My feet throb—a quick glance confirms the bandages are ripped and my sole is a mess of small cuts and bruises.

But the physical pain is nothing compared to the wave of shame that crashes over me as my mind fully clears. What have I done?

Not just the kiss—though that memory brings fresh heat to my cheeks. No, what’s worse is what came after. I ran. Like a coward, I ran away and left Finn to face his alphas alone. Left him to deal with the consequences of my actions.

“You stupid, selfish girl,” I whisper.

The argument I’d heard as I fled plays through my mind again:

“Don’t fucking touch me!”

Finn’s voice had been so raw, so hurt. And instead of staying—instead of taking responsibility for my part in it—I’d run away and left him there. Left him to face their anger alone.

My stomach churns. He’d been nothing but kind to me. Fed me. Clothed me. Made me feel safe for the first time in…forever. And how did I repay him? By kissing him, causing problems with his mates, and then abandoning him to deal with the fallout.

“I really am worthless,” I breathe, pressing my palms against my eyes as tears threaten. But no—I don’t deserve to cry. Don’t deserve that release.

A breeze stirs the leaves overhead, carrying with it the scent of the forest. Of freedom. Of escape. I could do it, I realize. Could keep running. Disappear into the wilderness and never look back. Never have to face what I’ve done.

The path stretches before me, metaphorically, if not literally. I could follow this stream, find my way to a road, eventually. Make my way…somewhere. Anywhere. Start over where no one knows what I am or what I’ve done.

But…

Finn’s face flashes through my mind again. Not the passion ofthe kiss, but earlier moments. The gentle way he’d smiled while making me breakfast. How careful he’d been with me. The warmth in his eyes when he told me I wasn’t broken.

He believed in me. Trusted me. And I repaid that trust by running away when things got hard.

“No.” The word comes out stronger than I expect, surprising me. “No, I won’t be a coward. Not this time.”

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