Page 82 of Knot Unwanted: Part One

I nod against his shoulder, fighting to push the painful thoughts away and focusing on breathing in that intoxicating scent of sage and rain. My whole body feels like it’s humming, every nerve ending alive with awareness of him. The solid warmth of his chest against my side. The gentle rise and fall of his breathing. The way his fingers absently trace patterns on my shoulder through the blanket.

On screen, some alpha is raging about broken rules and lost money, but I can barely focus. All I can think about is the point of contact between us, the way my skin tingles where he touches me. My heart is racing, but not from fear. This is different. This is….

Oh.

The realization steals my breath. I’m attracted to him. And not in the way they taught us at the Academy—to serve our master. To be a proper omega bound to submission. This is something elseentirely. Something that makes me want to press closer, to taste his skin, to…

“Hungry?”

I startle at his question, irrationally afraid he can somehow read my thoughts. “What?”

“You just tensed up.” His voice is gentle, concerned. “We slept through the night and didn’t have dinner. You must be hungry…”

“I’m okay,” I say automatically, even as my stomach clenches at the mention of food.

He makes a skeptical sound. “Yeah, that’s not an answer.” Carefully, he shifts to look at me without dislodging our position. “It’s way past breakfast. We should get you some food.”

Panic flares instantly. Food means leaving the nest. Leaving means… “No, really, I’m?—”

“Hailey.” Just my name, but filled with such tender concern it makes something delicate within me shudder. “You need to eat.”

“But…” I glance at the door, fear crawling up my spine.

Understanding dawns in his eyes. “The alphas? They’re probably at work. They usually are during the day.”

Something in his tone makes me look up. There’s a flash of…something in his expression. Hurt maybe? But it’s gone so quickly I might have imagined it.

“I don’t hear anyone moving around,” he continues, head tilted slightly as he listens. “Should be clear.”

I want to ask about that hint of pain in his voice, but anxiety overwhelms the impulse. “You’re sure?”

“Pretty sure.” He starts to withdraw his arm and I have to stop myself from clutching at him. “Come on. I make a mean grilled cheese.”

The loss of his warmth is immediate and jarring. I watch him stand, trying not to stare at the way his muscles move under his shirt. It’s wrong.

He extends a hand to help me up, and I take it without thinking. His palm is warm against mine, fingers curling around mysmaller hand with that same careful strength he shows in everything.

That’s when I notice it. The slight awkwardness in his movements, the way he angles his body away from me. There’s something…different. A bulge in his pants that wasn’t there before. Heat floods my cheeks as understanding flickers at the edges of my consciousness—not complete understanding, but enough to make my pulse race.

He releases my hand quickly, too quickly, and turns away. “I’ll…I just gotta wash up a little,” he says, voice rougher than usual. Is he embarrassed? Ashamed? The thought of Finn being anything less than completely in control seems impossible, yet there’s a tension in his shoulders I’ve never seen before.

My mind spins, thoughts tumbling over each other in a confused rush as I watch him hurry to the bathroom. My thoughts swirl around that bulge in his pants, and suddenly I’m nine again, standing in the hallway of my old house, wondering why Ma always locks herself away when the alphas visit.

I’d noticed it then too—the way their pants would strain at the front before they entered that room. Back then, I hadn’t understood. It took years to. Until that one afternoon when I’d gotten home early from school and the door wasn’t locked. The sight had been brief—Ma scrambling to cover herself, the alpha cursing—but it had been enough. Enough to connect the dots about what happened behind that door. About what that hardness meant. About what males wanted when they got like that.

The memory makes my cheeks burn as I think about Finn in the bathroom.

Does this mean…does Finn want to do that with me? The very idea sends a shock through my system—equal parts fear and something else. Something warm and electric that I don’t have a name for.

But the fear rises first, familiar and bitter on my tongue. Because at the Academy, everything circled back to this, too.Mating. Being the perfect breeding vessel for whatever alpha, whatever master, claimed us. Every lesson, every punishment, every reward was aimed at that singular goal. Had I merely traded one training ground for another? Was Finn being kind just because he…because he wants that from me?

No. The thought rises fierce and certain, even as my hands tremble. This isn’t the Academy. Finn isn’t like that. He’s an omega. Omegas can be trusted. After all, they’re the only designation that hasn’t hurt me in some way. Plus, if Finn wanted to mate with me, he wouldn’t need elaborate schemes or careful manipulation. He’s stronger than me, omega or not. He could simply take what he wanted.

That makes a bitter taste grow at the back of my throat and I push that thought away, too. He wouldn’t do that either.

The fact that he’s trying to hide his…reaction…proves that. He’s embarrassed, trying to protect me from any discomfort.

But can omegas even mate? Together? The question surfaces unbidden, making me flush harder. The Academy never mentioned such a possibility—but then, they never mentioned male omegas either. Everything I learned there is like a foundation built on shifting sand.

---