Page 155 of Knot Unwanted: Part One

But my traitorous mind replays it anyway. The way he’d gripped my hips. The way his fingers had tangled in my hair. The sound he’d made when I’d pressed closer—something between a groan and a growl that had lit up every nerve ending in my body.

And then I’d ruined it all by peeing on him.

“What is wrong with me?” I mutter, thumping my head back against the door.

I shift uncomfortably, suddenly aware of the wetness between my thighs. It doesn’t feel like I’ve urinated. It feels…different. Slicker. And the scent…

Hesitantly, I reach down and then bring my fingers to my nose. The smell makes my head spin—sweet and rich and nothing like urine at all.

What is happening to me?

My skin feels too tight, too hot. Like I’m burning up from the inside out. And there’s this ache, this emptiness that seems to pulse in time with my racing heart. I’ve never felt anything like this before.

“Get it together,” I whisper. “You’re fine. Everything’s fine. You just need to…to…”

To what? Face Finn and Stone again after what just happened? Face Jax and Ren?

My stomach lurches as I remember the scents I’d caught while Finn and Stone had brought me out of that panic attack. Sage and pine mixed with something darker, spicier—both of them thick with…something even headier. Something that had made that ache inside me pulse harder.

“Slut,” I whisper, the word bitter on my tongue. How many times had the handlers at the Academy thrown that word at me? At any omega who whined too much. Any omega who couldn’t control their base urges.

And here I am, proving them right. Finn and Stone showed me basic kindness, and I immediately started having the most inappropriate thoughts! Started wanting things I shouldn’t want. Started imagining his hands sliding lower, his mouth on my neck, his body pressing me down into the cushions…

“Stop it!” I hiss at myself, digging my nails into my palms untilthe sting pulls me back from those dangerous thoughts. “What is wrong with you?”

But I know what’s wrong with me. I’m an undeserving, unwanted thing. Just like Pa thought. Just like the Academy tried to fix. And these alphas, Finn, have been trying to give me more than anyone else in my life ever has. I’m losing myself. The only problem is…I don’t even know who I truly am.

A wave of dizziness hits me and I press my forehead to my drawn-up knees. My whole body feels strange—hot and achy and somehow both too big and too small for my skin. Is this what going crazy feels like?

The scent of honey and vanilla fills my nose, and it takes me a moment to realize it’s coming from me. Exactly what Finn said I smelled like.

But should it be this sweet? This heady?

Oh.

Oh no.

I’m not completely dumb. I might not have much in the way of experience but I know omegas go through heats. I know that’s the reason the Academy kept us on those little red pills that came every night with dinner. For the entire week before the transport to “master”, those little red pills had been mysteriously absent.

Is that why I’m feeling like this?

“But I’ve never…” I swallow hard. “This can’t…”

But it is. I’m aroused. Wet. Wanting. All because Finn and Stone…

I swallow hard.

The reality of it hits me all over again and I curl tighter into myself. I’d loved it. Wanted more of it. Wanted things I don’t even have names for.

“They’re going to throw me out,” I whisper, heart rising in my throat. “They have to.”

The thought makes my chest rise and fall with panic. Where will I go? Back to the woods? Back to…the Academy?

No. I can’t think about that. Can’t let myself remember where I was headed before Stone found me. Before Finn took me in and made me feel safe and looked at me like I was worth something and kissed me like I was precious and…

Another wave of heat rolls through me and I whimper. Fresh slick seeps at the edges of my sex. Everything feels too sensitive. The brush of my clothes against my skin is almost painful. The ache between my legs has intensified to something that makes me want to squirm, to press my thighs together. My fingers twist in the fabric of the sweatpants, fighting the urge to reach down, to touch. Each breath brings another wave of need, sharp and insistent, until I can barely think past the desperate throbbing.

“Please,” I whisper, though I’m not sure what I’m begging for. “Please make it stop.”

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