Page 93 of Knot Like Other Girls

"And you wanted that," Cole says, not a question.

"I think every omega does, deep down." I trace an idle pattern on his chest with my finger, following the line of a seam in his shirt. "No matter how modern we are, how independent, there's something about the idea of that connection that calls to us. That recognition on the most basic level."

"Mmh."

I pause, gathering my thoughts. "Some omegas think it's a fairy tale. As I got older, I became skeptical myself. Knowing it doesn't happen for most of us did make it easier to swallow the idea of arranged matches and political marriages."

Cole says nothing, but his arms tighten around me almost imperceptibly.

"My family are mostly betas, you know," I continue, the words flowing more freely than I expected. "They don't understand what it's like. The pull, the instincts. It's rare for betas to scent match. When I presented as an omega, it was like I became a different species in their eyes. Something to be managed. Protected. Leveraged."

"Leveraged," Cole repeats, and the edge in his voice makes me look up. His jaw is tight, a muscle ticking in his cheek.

"My family has... financial issues," I explain, feeling the familiar rush of shame curling in my stomach. "When the Worthingtons expressed interest in me as a potential match for Braxley, my parents saw it as the answer to all their problems. A way to solve their debt and secure my future in one fell swoop."

"And you went along with it," he says, no judgment in his tone. Just understanding.

I nod against his chest. "What choice did I have? They're my family. They needed me to do this. And it's not like I had other prospects lined up." I laugh, but it comes out hollow. "Besides, Braxley is wealthy, not a crusty old alpha, and from a good family. On paper, it was the perfect match. What more could a good little omega ask for?"

"Someone who loves you," he replies, as if it's a real question. "Someone who sees you."

The simple truth of his words hits me hard. I've spent so long convincing myself that love is a luxury I can't afford, that security and status are acceptable substitutes. That the emptiness I felt around Braxley was just the natural consequence of growing up, of putting away childish dreams.

But Cole sees through all of that. Has from the beginning, maybe.

"I thought I was doing the right thing," I say quietly.. "The responsible thing. I thought I was being realistic."

"Realistic doesn't mean you have to be miserable," Cole says, surprising me with the fierceness in his usually guarded voice. "It doesn't mean you have to settle for someone who treats you like a fucking accessory."

I blink, taken aback by his vehemence. "I didn't think you cared that much about my relationship with Braxley."

Cole looks away, the first time since I woke that he's broken eye contact. "I care more than I should."

The admission sends a flutter through my chest. I reach up without thinking, my fingers brushing the edge of his scarred jaw, turning his face back to mine. For once, he doesn't recoil from my touch. A flinch is a huge improvement.

"I'm glad," I say softly. "That you care."

His mismatched eyes search mine, one a deep, soulful blue, the other a lighter color that doesn't respond to light. But both hold the same wary hope, the same carefully banked need.

"Why?" he asks, his voice rough. "Why would you want a monster like me to care about you?"

"You're not a monster, Cole." I let my fingers trail along the webbed scars on his jaw, then down the side of his neck, feeling the contrast between smooth skin and scarred tissue when I reach his bone-white hair. He leans into my touch when I run my fingers through it, stroking gently. "You never were."

He looks at me like I'm speaking a language he doesn't understand. Like he can't quite process the idea that I see past his scars to the man underneath. It breaks my heart and fills it at the same time.

"I used to think finding my scent match would solve everything," I say, changing tack slightly. "That it would be this immediate, perfect connection. Love at first sight, but deeper. More inevitable."

Cole goes very still, waiting for me to continue.

"But it wasn't like that with you. With any of you." I smile softly. "I didn't even know what you were to me at first. I just felt drawn to you, even when you were being grumpy and standoffish."

That earns me a slight quirk of his lips, not quite a smile but close.

"I'm glad it happened this way," I continue, my voice stronger now. "That I got to know you—all of you—before I knew what you were to me. It makes it more real somehow. Not just biology, but something we built. Something I chose."

"Chose?" Cole echoes, that single word loaded with disbelief.

"Yes, chose." I meet his gaze steadily. "I chose to let you stay with me tonight. I chose to open up to you. I chose to trust youwhen you shared your pain with me. Those weren't decisions my omega instincts made. They were mine."

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