Page 42 of Knot Like Other Girls

"Should be," Liam echoes softly. "But you're not, are you?"

I shake my head, unable to speak. Troy wordlessly passes me a napkin, and I dab at my eyes, grateful for the moment to compose myself.

"Listen to me," Savva says, his voice low and urgent. Angry, even. Why? "We're not here to judge you or your relationship. But we need to know what we're dealing with. Is Braxley... is he hurting you?"

"No!" I say quickly. Too quickly. "No, he's never laid a hand on me. He's just... he's..."

"A complete and utter wanker?" Liam supplies helpfully.

A laugh bubbles up in my throat, surprising me. "He's not... he's not a bad person. Not really. He's..." I trail off, not sure how to explain.

"Selfish? Narcissistic? Emotionally manipulative?" Troy offers. When I stare at him, he shrugs. "What? I've been paying attention."

I sigh, slumping in my chair. "He's all of those things. But he's also the alpha I'm supposed to marry. The alpha my family is counting on me to marry."

"Supposed to," Roman says quietly. "Not want to."

I look at him, startled by his perception. "I... it's complicated."

"It always is," Savva says with a sad smile. "But Bella, you need to understand something. If this situation is causing you distress..."

"It's not," I insist, but the words sound hollow even to my own ears. "I mean, it's not ideal, but... it's fine. I'm fine."

"You keep saying that," Liam observes. "But I don't think you know what 'fine' actually feels like, lass."

His words hit me like a punch to the gut.

Because he's right.

I don't know what 'fine' feels like.

Not anymore.

Maybe I never did.

"I..." I start, then stop, not sure what to say. How do I explain that this is just how things are? That I don't have a choice?

"You always have a choice, Bella," Roman says, as if reading my mind. "Always. Even when it doesn't feel like it."

I shake my head, feeling the walls closing in. "My family... they need this. They're counting on me. I can't just..."

"Can't just what?" Troy asks gently. "Be happy? Live your own life?"

"It's not that simple," I whisper.

"No, it's not," Savva agrees. "But it's not as impossible as you think, either."

I look at them, these four alphas who've known me for less than a day, who've seen through every lie and facade I've carefully constructed. And for a moment, I let myself imagine what it would be like to be free. To make my own choices, to live for myself instead of everyone else.

It's terrifying.

"Now," Savva says, his tone lighter. "About Cole..."

I look up, suddenly remembering my earlier worry. "Is he okay? Did I do something wrong?"

Savva shakes his head. "No, you didn't do anything wrong. Cole is... he's been through a lot. More than any of us, in some ways. He struggles with new people, new situations."

I want to ask what happened, what could have possibly broken someone so thoroughly, but I bite my tongue. It's not my place to pry.

---