Page 136 of Knot Like Other Girls

I'm not surprised. Out of all of us, Cole's the one who sleeps the least. Between the physical pain from his injuries and the nightmares that still haunt him, sleep isn't exactly his friend.

"Your prosthetic bothering you?" I nod toward his face, where the empty socket is visible in the dim light. It's rare to see him without it. Cole hates showing that particular vulnerability, even to us.

"Took it out," he murmurs. "Don't sleep with it in."

That's news to me. I've slept in close quarters with Cole for years on missions, and I've never noticed that. Even in the field, he's always managed to keep that particular wall up. The fact that he felt comfortable enough to remove it with all of us here—with Bella here—says more than any words could.

"Didn't know that," I admit.

Cole's jaw tightens slightly. "Now you do."

I prop myself up on one elbow, careful not to jostle the mattress too much. This massive bed might be big enough for six people, but it's still a challenge not to disturb anyone. Roman growls something in his sleep, turning his face deeper into his pillow.

"She looks comfortable." I nod toward Bella, whose face is peaceful in sleep. Her dark lashes fan against her cheeks, her lips slightly parted. Even in the dim light, I can see how perfectly she fits against Cole's side, like she was made to be there.

Cole's arm tightens fractionally around her shoulders. "Yeah."

One-word answers. Classic Cole. But I can see the stiffness in his body, the careful way he's holding himself. Like he's afraid if he relaxes too much, this might all disappear. Like he's waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"You good?" I ask, knowing the loaded nature of the question. With Cole, you have to tread carefully around emotions. Push too hard and he'll shut down completely.

Cole's eye slides to me, assessing. After a moment, he gives a slight nod.

"Better than I should be," he admits, so quietly I almost miss it.

Coming from Cole, that's practically a declaration of joy. I feel a grin spread across my face, but I try to tone it down. No need to make him regret opening up.

"Good," I say simply. "That's... good. You deserve it. All of it. Her. Us. Everything."

And I mean every damn word.

Cole's jaw works silently for a moment. "No, I don't."

"Bullshit."

"Troy—"

"Absolute bullshit," I insist, still keeping my voice to a whisper. "Look, we've all got our shit. You think any of us deserve her? You think any of us deserve... this?" I gesture vaguely to encompass the bed, the pack, everything we've found. "Life's not about what you deserve. It's about what you get, and what you do with it."

Cole's silent for so long I think he might have shut down on me. But finally, he whispers, "I'm going to fuck it up. I know I am."

This is the real Cole. Not the hardened warrior, not the scary motherfucker who can make grown men piss themselves with one look. This is the wounded man beneath all that. The one who's terrified of losing the one good thing that's happened to him since everything went to shit.

"You won't," I assure him. Then, because I know Cole needs honesty more than platitudes, I add, "And if you do, we'll be here to kick your ass and help you fix it."

That gets me another almost-laugh, this one accompanied by a slight shake of his head. "Pack of fucking idiots."

"Your pack of fucking idiots," I correct him with a grin.

"God help me."

Bella makes a small sound in her sleep, shifting against Cole's side. Her fingers curl more firmly against his chest, like she's making sure he's still there. Cole freezes immediately, his whole body going still as he waits to see if she'll wake. When she settles back into sleep, he exhales slowly, relief evident in the way his shoulders relax.

The tenderness in his expression as he looks down at her makes my chest knot up. Cole, our Cole who pushes everyone away, who hides behind walls of anger and self-loathing, is looking at this woman like she hung the fucking moon.

"She's not what I expected," I admit, watching the way Bella's dark hair spills across Cole's scarred chest.

Cole's eye narrows. "What's that mean?"

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