Page 12 of Loaded Laces

Pop!

I turn, see that Belle has tabled her freakout and is drinking from the can. With a quiet “Ah!” she sets it on the counter then she nods at Quinn. “No first-person shooters,” she says softly, and it takes me a moment to realize she’s talking about the type of game he’s allowed to play. “But free rein on the rest of the Xbox.”

“Really?” he asks, eyes lighting up.

Her mouth hitches up. “Really.” He starts to turn for the other room, pauses when she adds, “So long as you promise that you’ll put it down when you get tired and sprawl out on the couch.”

I don’t comment as he nods.

I also don’t comment on the fact that her words indicate this conversation is going to take a while.

I just drink my chocolate milk.

And I wait.

Six

Belle

I hearthe video game turn on and suck back my soda for courage.

He remembered I’m addicted to it.

Will drink it any time of day—orhaddrank it any time of day before shit got real and my budget meant that I couldn’t afford it.

Now, it’s an indulgence that’s few and far between.

Food for my kid, drinks for my kid andthenstuff for me.

It’s how it should be.

It’s not howIhad it, but it’s how West had it—good parents, people who looked out for him, who loved him, who lovedme…

At least until I drove them all away.

But I still kept him, kept them…in Quinn—giving him the love he needed, giving him everything I could.

And that all worked great.

Until Quinn got sick.

And the bills piled up.

And I was evicted.

And I was—am—desperate.

“I shouldn’t have gone to the rink,” I begin, setting my can onto the counter with a softclick.

“Why’s that?”

So many reasons.

So many that I can’t immediately answer.

He sighs when the silence stretches and comes close, resting a hip against the cabinets. He’s all of three feet away from me, but he may as well be on the other side of the Grand Canyon.

And I did that.Icreated that gulf between us.

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