Page 101 of Undeniably Enemies

I bite into my lip and force myself to breathe. To feel. Slowly, muscle by muscle, I relax.

“Yes. I feel that.”

His forehead falls to mine, and he blows out a heavy, ragged breath. “Good girl. You’re such a good girl, Wren. So strong and brave. Unlike anyone I’ve ever met. I’m going to flip you around now.”

“No.”

“Try it and if you can’t handle it, you have a word that will stop me. You’ll be just as safe as you are now. I promise. On my life, I promise you’re safe with me. I’d rather die than hurt you.”

Before I formulate another word, he spins me around until my face is against the wall and I’m pinned, harder than I was before.

“Fuck! Stop!” I buck against him, fear and adrenaline clouding my vision. A sob strangles past my lips, and I can’t breathe. The steam is too thick, his body too heavy. I try to remember my self-defense. I try to remember what I’ve been trained to do, but it’s useless. I can’t move my legs because he has them locked against the wall. I can’t move my arms or hands because he’s big and strong.

“Wren.” His mouth is right by my ear, his voice strong but soothing. “It’s still just me and I won’t hurt you. Remember why I’m here. Remember what I said. Think about what I’m trying to do.”

Except I can’t. His words get jumbled with my racing thoughts. I fight and twist and thrash.

“Chocolate!” The word flies from my mouth before I even realize it was in my head or that I set it free. But the moment I do, that very second, it’s all over. My hands are free, his weight is gone, and I can move.

I spin around, my arms wrapped around my chest, and I stare at him, ready to fucking kill him with my bare hands when the sight of him stops my murderous rage dead. Jack is on the opposite side of the shower, his arms behind his back, and a calm expression on his face. There’s no hint of aggression. No anger. He’s hard, but it’s as if he doesn’t register it.

I blink at him as I feel the first of my tears burn my eyes and slip down my cheeks. “What just happened?”

“You used your safe word, and I stopped just as I told you I would.”

“But…” I shake my head, unable to make sense of that. “You just tried…”

“You’ve been through an unspeakable trauma, and you fought. You’re still fighting, and I see that. I think you’re incredible for it, and I’m in awe of you. But no and stop didn’t work for you before, did they?”

I shake my head slowly, my knees feeling weak as my adrenaline burns off.

“You needed to know that you have all the power with me. All the control. We might play and say and do things that cross each other’s comfort zones, but nothing I do will ever hurt you or be done from a place of violence or aggression. You say your word, and I stop. That’s how it goes.” He sighs and runs his hands up and over his face, brushing back his wet hair. “I’ve done a million things wrong with you, but I need you to have full faith and trust in me. I needed to pull out your demons but change the ending for you.”

I start to shake, trembling worse than I was only moments ago. “I made you stop.”

“You did, and you always can. I want you to be able to enjoy me from behind. I want to be able to hold your wrists because I think if you allowed yourself to, you’d enjoy me tying you up and driving you crazy. But if you don’t, if we never get to that point, that’s okay too. I won’t be upset or mad and the way I care about you will never change. I don’t want any fear living in your heart or mind. I want to abolish it once and for all, and the way to do that is to face it head-on. I want you to have your life back and I don’t want you to panic when we’re together. I don’t want anything other than pleasure and desire and trust between us. You needed to see and experience that, not just for us, but for yourself. You are so strong, Wren. There isn’t anything you can’t conquer. We changed your narrative and gave you back your control. It’s something we’ll keep working on together if you’ll let me because we both know it’s not a one-and-done fix.”

I sniffle and wipe my nose with the back of my hand before I wrap my arms back around my body. “You need to leave.”

That takes him by surprise. His wet lashes flutter, and his lips part. He takes a small step forward as if he’s going to try to plead his case, and I hold my hands out to stop him.

“Wren—”

I shake my head and bite down my sob. “Please, Jack. You need to leave because if you don’t, I’m going to fall in love with you. I’ve been fighting it, but I’m not sure how much more I can take. And it won’t be the kind of love I felt before. It won’t be the adolescent kind. It will be the full-grown woman kind of love, and I… I won’t come back from that. Not again. It was nearly impossible the first time. So please, before that happens, you have to go.”

He crosses the shower and has me in his arms with my back against the wall. He forces my legs around his waist, and he holds me up so we’re face-to-face. “It’s already too late for me. Wren, I love you. I do. I’ve loved you for…” He trails off with a half-chuckle. “Fuck, I think I’ve loved you since that night at the party. I loved you even when I shouldn’t have. Even when I swore I hated you. It’s a love I haven’t come back from, and I know I never will. It’s a love that no longer gives a fuck about anything but you.”

With that, he slides inside of me and holds himself still.

“It’s you, Wren. All this time, it’s been you. Lord knows I’ve failed you time and time again, but you’re safe with me.” His lips trickle along mine as he pulls out and presses back in, making us both gasp. “You own me. I want this. I want you. And I told you before, I’m tired of fighting it. Ican’tfight it anymore.”

“You love me?”

“More than anything.” He smirks. “Why else would I agree to be friends?”

My arms encircle his neck, and my hands rake up into his hair. I pull him to me and kiss him, finally surrendering, allowing myself to fall completely. Part of me feels like I should be furious for what he did even as he talked me through it. But he didn’t do it for himself.

He did it for me.

---