Page 107 of Undeniably Enemies

He nibbles on my jaw. “You can’t tell any of my guys though. I’ll never live it down, and as you said, I have a reputation to protect as a grumpy, controlling, overprotective?—”

“Cantankerous,” I interject.

“Cantankerous,” he acknowledges, “man.”

“Can I tell Tinsley?”

“Only if I can tell Sorel since I can’t tell Owen yet.”

“Deal.”

He pulls me down to him and we get lost in each other. And my heart? My heart is turning into a total sap for this man.

“Where are we going?”I ask, wondering why we’re headed in the opposite direction of my gym. He told me he wanted to get a workout in before we went shopping.

“I was having a thought. Hear me out.”

He takes my hand and knots his fingers through mine. There’s a look on his face I don’t like so much. An expression that has me feeling my heart everywhere.

“You only work out in the gym.”

My brow scrunches in on itself. “So? Lots of people work out that way.”

“Ah, except you used to run outside.”

“Jack…” I trail off.

“You used your safe word on me, and later you let me take you from behind without putting any pressure on you. You’re amazing. I thought we could go for a run outdoors down by the river together. What do you think?”

Forget feeling my heart everywhere. It’s fucking trying to jump out of my body and escape.

“What if I don’t want to do that? What if I don’t like running outside anymore?”

“That’s fear talking. I’ll be with you the entire time. You have pepper spray and your alarm on your keys. I’m a big guy, and predators tend not to attack couples or men, especially bigger men, and just to add a little something extra, I have my Leatherman.” He pulls out a metal rectangle from his pocket and shows it to me. There’s a knife in that, among other things. “But if you’re telling me you’re not ready, then you’re not ready and we’ll try it another time and go to the gym instead.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because you told me last night you were in therapy for two years, and you’ve been doing fight club at the gym overlapping some of that. Last night we fought a lot of your panic and I thought we’d keep the streak going with an outdoor run in broad daylight. But considering the idea of it has your nails digging into my hand maybe I’m pushing you too hard.”

I glance down at our joined hands and release the pressure I didn’t realize I was applying.

“I just… I haven’t been back there since.”

“I think facing it might be healing. What do you think? I told you yesterday, I’ve got you and you’re safe with me.”

“I don’t need you to fix me.”

He chuckles dryly. “That would assume I think you’re broken, which I don’t. I told you about my hand, about my surgical career, and my scholarship going down the toilet. I told you a bit about how I was set to propose to Tilly when I caught her with my boss. Oh, and she kept our dog, our apartment, and obviously our hospital. Six months later, I met a beautiful Cinderella, and I thought my luck was finally turning around. Then she turned out to be my best friend’s baby sister. Not a lot has gone right for me. I look at you and I want you like nothing else. I’m in love with you, but I’m scared because nothing good in my life has ever stuck around for long. It’s always gotten messed up one way or another.”

He stops and takes my face in both of his hands right here in the middle of the busy sidewalk.

“We’ve all got shit, Wren. All of us. Some of us more than others, and your shit is no joke. It’s serious and should be addressed and not swept under the rug or counted away. You’re going to help me believe that the other shoe won’t drop this time and that I can finally count on something amazing to stick around, and I’m going to help you slay those demons once and for all. But we can do that slowly if that feels better for you. I’m not going anywhere and it’s okay if you’re not ready yet.” Hisforehead meets mine. “Sometimes, all it takes is one small thing, one tiny push, the right person to come along at the right time, and we can overcome anything.”

My throat threatens to close up on me and tears I won’t let fall burn the backs of my eyes. That’s a tall order he’s placing on both of us. A challenge for us to meet. One I don’t have to do all at once or even right now if I’m not ready. But taking things slowly hasn’t gotten me anywhere. I haven’t been ready, but I also haven’t pushed myself. It’s been two and a half years and I’m still here, still afraid, stuck in the same routine. I’m sick of it.

And since I’m competitive as fuck, I say, “Fine. Bring it on. But if I say ‘chocolate’ mid run…” I trail off, raising an eyebrow at him.

“We stop and go home or out for lunch or wherever you want to go. And you can simply tell me you’re done. You don’t need a safe word out here, sweetheart.” He smiles the perfect mixture of worship and a soul-divining need to completely own someone, and I have it bad for this man. “We’ll go as far as you want and then we’ll stop. Even if it’s two seconds, that’s fine.” He smirks. “I don’t think you realized, but you didn’t lock the front lock four times.”

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